Archive for the 'Private Eye' Category

09
Mar
09

gazette watch

Bloggers will have noticed that the local snooze paper has become the official voice of the borough’s Labour run council and that it’s editor Mr Dumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski has handed over editorial control to his paymaster council leader Iain Malcolm.

This has been a gradual process and at first Papa John paid lip service to his profession by at least appearing to be reporting things from a neutral perspective and even appeared to occasionally challenge the shit churned out by the Minister of Propaganda, Linda Fothergill, aka the council’s Head of Communications.

Miss Piggy, aka councillor Iain Malcolm, quickly realised how easy it was to manipulate Mr Dumpy – all he had to do was make him feel loved, invite him to council functions and make sure the fat bastard could stuff his face with free sausagee rolls – and the Gazette was his to control.

But over the last month Mr Monkey has noticed that Papa John Szymanski appears to have handed over editorial control to the local Labour party and they in turn seem to publish whatever they want with little or no involvement from the paper’s journalists, especially the so called council reporter Paul Myles Kelly.

Mr Monkey thought he’d test this theory by comparing the council’s latest press release about a possible reduction in council rents with Paul Myles Kelly’s article. CLICK HERE.

Housing Minister set to give away £175 million but Ed Malcolm wants the credit'

Housing Minister set to give away £175 million but Ed Malcolm wants the credit'

This chimp was astounded by the results and proves beyond doubt that Papa John Szymanski is nothing more than Miss Piggy’s plaything and that the Gazette is just another propaganda tool for the local Labour run council.

Judge for yourself – below is the press release issued by the council

COUNCIL RECONSIDERS RENTS FOLLOWING GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCEMENT

Council tenants in South Tyneside could be set for a reduction in next year’s rent increase after the Government announced a new package of financial support for local authorities.

South Tyneside Council has already agreed a 6.84 per cent rise in rents for 2009/10, in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring guidelines.

But the Council is now reconsidering that figure following today’s Government decision to slash its average guideline rent increase for 2009/10 from 6.2 per cent to 3.1 per cent.

The Government is providing up to £175 million to local authorities in England in an effort to encourage councils to reduce the amount tenants would have to pay for the coming year.

The Council’s Lead Member Resources, Councillor Ed Malcolm, said: “This is welcome news from the Government. Both the Council and the Board of South Tyneside Homes wrote to the Government at the turn of the year to express our concerns that their average guideline rent increase was above what most people could afford at this difficult time, and we have been pressing the Government to rethink its position. We are delighted that the Government has listened to our calls, and responded.

“We are keen to provide real help now for Council tenants. I have instructed officers to assess the revised position following this afternoon’s announcement with a view to making recommendations that will ensure that Council tenants can benefit. We are aware that tenants have already received letters outlining next year’s rent increase, and will be contacting them again as soon as we are in a position to do so.”

The Council’s existing rent increase of 6.84 per cent was agreed in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring policy. This policy aims to bring the amount council tenants pay into line with people living in properties managed by other registered social landlords, such as housing associations.

As Council rents in South Tyneside are historically low, rent increases are often slightly higher than the Government’s guideline in order to close the gap with rents charged by other landlords.

Any change to the increase in rents for 2009/10 would have to be agreed by full Council.

Now compare this to the article below that appeared in the The Labour Gazetteer, formerly known as the Shields Gazette. The differences between the 2 articles have been highlighted in red and amount to a change of title, the addition of 8 words and the removal of 2 others.

TENANTS IN LINE FOR RENT CUTS

COUNCIL house tenants in South Tyneside could be set for a major reduction in next year’s rent increase after the Government announced a new package of financial support for local authorities.

South Tyneside Council had already agreed a 6.84 per cent rise in rents for 2009/10, in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring guidelines.

But the council is now reconsidering that figure after today’s Government decision to slash its average guideline rent increase for 2009/10 from 6.2 per cent to 3.1 per cent.

The Government is providing up to £175m to local authorities in England in an effort to encourage councils to reduce the amount tenants would have to pay for the coming year.

The council’s lead member for resources, Coun Ed Malcolm, said: “This is welcome news from the Government.

“Both the council and the board of South Tyneside Homes wrote to the Government at the turn of the year to express our concerns that their average guideline rent increase was above what most people could afford at this difficult time.

“We have been pressing the Government to rethink its position, and we are delighted the Government has listened to our calls, and responded.

“We are keen to provide real help now for council tenants.

“I have instructed officers to assess the revised position after this announcement, with a view to making recommendations that will ensure that council tenants can benefit.

“We are aware that tenants have already received letters outlining next year’s rent increase, and will be contacting them again as soon as we are in a position to do so.”
 
The council’s existing rent increase of 6.84 per cent was agreed in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring policy.
 
This policy aims to bring the amount council tenants pay into line with people living in properties managed by other registered social landlords, such as housing associations.

As council rents in South Tyneside are historically low, rent increases are often slightly higher than the Government’s guideline in order to close the gap with rents charged by other landlords.

Any change to the increase in rents for 2009/10 would have to be agreed by full council, at a meeting on March 26.
Well done Paul Myles Kelly, another worthwhile piece of investigative journalism worthy of your profession the Gazette.
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18
Nov
08

Especially For Papa John

Mr Monkey had a bit of time to spare this evening so he decided to play around with his blog’s banner and has come up with something that reflects the sorry state of the borough’s local toilet paper.

Bloggers will be aware from numerous posts on this site and the from the amount of Labour shit that appears in the paper daily that it’s editor Papa John Szymanski has sold his intergrity for a few sausage rolls and chicken drumsticks. Either that or he’s suddenly turned bi-sexual and Iain Malcolm is sticking it up him!

He’s probably drooling over pictures of Miss Piggy this evening but when he’s had time to wipe up the mess and taken his usual early morning peek at this blog, Mr Monkey hopes that Papa John appreciates all his hard work.

18
Nov
08

Must Try Harder When It Comes To Attendances

Seems another local blogger has stolen a march on the Gazette Malcolm Fanzine when it comes to councillors attendance records.

A year ago the Northern Herald CLICK HERE ran a Private Eye style report on the attendance record of councillors for the previous 12 months and it makes interesting reading.

The Northern Herald report covered all committees attendances over a 12 month period and provides bloggers with an accurate picture of attendance levels. This appraoch accuratley reflects the commitment shown by each councillor to attending meetings on a week by week basis and not just a select few that they are ‘forced’ to attend because the leader (Miss Piggy) and party whips said so.

It seems that when you do the maths over 12 months a very different picture emerges to the one that is portrayed in Birdman Maclean’s e-mail, CLICK HERE.

LICENSING COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 19 OCTOBER 2007
No register taken before 18 October 2007. However, on the 19th the following members were absent without sick notes; Atkinson, Dix, Gibson, Hanson, Hickman, Lewell, McMillan, Perry, Punchion, Strike and Thompson. Present were Lewis, Meeks and Potts (?) On the 18th the school didn’t have enough members present to form a team., so they had to come back the day after.

HUMAN RESOURCES. LESSONS UP TO 24 OCTOBER 2007
Robinson, Punchion, McMillan, Hetherington and Boyack all receive a gold star for full attendance ( 4 att out of 4). Silver stars to Foreman (3 att out of 4) and Atkinson (2 att out of 4). A bronze award to McAtominey and Branley (1 att out 0f 4) while Bell. J. is suspended for not bothering to come to school ( 0 att out of 4).

CABINET. LESSONS UP TO 17 OCTOBER 2007
Full marks to Sewell and Woods for never missing the school bus (12 att out of 12). What was the matter boys, frightened in case the other boys talked about you? Well done Henderson (11 att out of 12); get to the bus stop earlier and you could be like the rest. The other members in the class managed the following; McAtominey and Waggot (Head Boy) managed to get to school 10 out of 12 times, followed closely by Foreman and Brady with 9 attout of 12. Malcolm in the Middle with 8 out of 12, watch those pizzas’s boy! Last again Bell, with 7 out of 12 attendances. Much more of this and it’s the heads office for you girl!

APPEALS COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 5 OCTOBER 2007
Nolan, Potts, Boyack, Brady, McAtominey and Wood will receive lines and the cane for failing to turn up on 6 out of 6 occasions. Potts, the schools particularly disappointed with you as you should know better, you were warned last year. Litter duty goes to McKie and Meeks (1 att out of 6) with Hanson (2 att out of six) holding the black bin liner. Gibson (4 att out of 6) Hickman and Lewis (5 att out of 6) extra custard.

NEIGHBOURHOOD SERVICES SCRUTINY COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 23 OCTOBER 2007
Top of the class awards to Hetherington, Maxwell, Meeks and Nolan (5 att out of 5), followed by Waddle, Anglin, Lewis and Scorer (4 att out 5). Atkinson and Perry (3 att out of 5) and Boyack (2 attout of 5) stop hanging around the playground with Haram and Strike, their bad influences on you (1 att out of 5).

GENERAL PURPOSE COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 27 SEPTEMBER 2007
I have had to ask the school governors what these lessons actually involve. Elsom, McAtominey, McKie and Milburn (0 att out 2) its pointless asking you what went on. Defty, Hetherington and waddle (1 att out of 2) consider new lessons and Brady, Bell, Clare, Foreman, Hanson, Malcolm, Sewell and Waggot (2 att out of 2) for Gods sake get yourselves a hobby!

CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE SCRUTINY COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 17 JULY 2007
Branley, Dixon, Kidd and McMillan – act your age(0 att out of 2). McKie, Punchion and Stewart, behave (1 att out of 2). Donaldson, Kerr, McCabe, Robinson and Wood (Scottish lad) well done (2 att out of 2).

AUDIT COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 26 JUNE 2007
Anglin, Pigott, Wood. J. and Davidson, extra privileges (2 att out of 2). Branley, shoe shining duty (0 att out of 2).

OVERVIEW AND SCRUTINY AND CALL IN COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 9 OCTOBER 2007
Abbott, Capstick (4 att out of 4) Defty, Meeks, Maxwell and Perry (3 att out 4) – the schools very proud of you. Donaldson and McCabe (2 att out 4) Dix, Elsom and Potts – why bother (1 att out 4). Malcolm. E. and Scorer, you’re a disruptive influence on the rest of the class (0 att out 4).

REGULATORY AND RESOURCES SCRUTINY COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 11 SEPTEMBER 2007
Pigott, Malcolm, Nolan and Dix (3 att out of 3) extra milk. Anglin, Leask, Robinson and Wood. D., semi skimmed (2 att out of 3). Branley, Lewis and Spraggon (1 att out of 3) and Gibson (0 att out of 3) red top for you watery eyed fops!

FULL COUNCIL. LESSONS UP TO 25 OCTOBER 2007
And finally – the big boy and girls school. With severe over crowding in this class, if your names are not mentioned, it’s the school badge for you. Well done! However, toilet duty to the following; Branley, McMillan and Haram (2 att out of 5). Defty, Harrison, Lewell, Maxwell and Potts, library duty all week (3 att out of 5).