Archive for the 'Remembrance Sunday' Category


Vodak Lil Discards Her Stick

Benefit cheat!

Is councillor Leask a Benefit cheat?

Vodka Lil aka councilor Eileen Leask has hobbled round on her walking stick on the pretext of having some illness for years. But Mr Monkey has watched her closely over the years and reckons she’s a fraudster.

It seems that she uses her stick very selectively and often discards it when she needs to get to the bar, buffet table or when she wants to be in the limelight.

Yesterday’s Gazette Malcolm Fanzine featured a picture of Vodka Lil standing next to her leader Miss Piggy aka councillor Iain Malcolm.

On careful examination it seems she’s made a miraculous recovery and no longer needs that stick. Mr Monkey reckons she only uses her stick to convince the DSS that her benefit claim is genuine.

Based on the evidence in this picture she’s a lair and a benefit cheat.


Three Labour Stooges

Mr Monkey would like to congratulate the Fat Mackem Hobbit over at The Shire Curly’s Corner Shop for capturing this picture at Sunday’s Remembrance Ceremony in Westoe.

'Labour's three stooges'

The Hobbit’s picture encapsulates everything the local Labour party stands for and provides photographic evidence to support Mr Monkey’s view that the local Labour party really has sunk to an all time low.

Lets take a look at the three stooges.

Vodka Lil .. Miss Piggy’s councillor Iain Malcolm’s side kick in Horsley Hill. She is renowned for her love of vodka and outrageous behaviour when pissed. Miss Piggy would love to dump her in 2010 and bring back Arthur ‘dirty dick’ Meeks into the fold.

Joyce Welsh.. this benefit fraudster scrounger is apparently too sick to work yet she can deliver leaflets for the Labour party; Mr Monkey has the pictures. She’s desperate for a seat on the council and it is rumoured she’s shagged a few leading players to get one. Talk in the members lounge is that Joyce is Iain Malcolm’s choice to replace Olive Puncheon in 2010. Mr Monkey reckons brother Ed can’t afford any skeletons in the cupboard if he gets the Parliamentary nomination; too late Ed, Mr Monkey’s already on to you!

Papa John Szymanski.. he turns up everywhere like a bad penny. He’s being manipulated by Miss Piggy aka councillor Iain Malcolm and willingly sells his soul for a few sausage rolls and chicken drumsticks. Mr Monkey reckons Papa John has a few psychological scars and is suffering from a ‘no one loves me’ complex. Everyone can see he’s in need of love and his fear of being treated as an outsider has been picked up on by Miss Piggy who pretends to love him dearly.

Perhaps Papa John should goggle Black Widow – it might just stop him being devoured by Iain.

Mr Monkey seems to think that this is the first time Papa John has bothered turning up to a Remembrance Ceremony anywhere in the borough .. coincidence or has it something to do with him thinking he’s now part of the in crowd?

It seems there is some truth in the saying “every a picture is worth a thousand words”.


Potts Sober on A Sunday?

According to The Fat Mackem Hobbit over at The Shire Curly’s Corner Shop, The KIng of Sleaze, Tory Boy David Potts broke with his usual Sunday morning tradition of waking up with a stinking hangover and in some strange lasses bed so he could attend the Remembrance Service in East Boldon.

Mr Monkey was surprised that something other than the prospect of an easy shag or a free piss up managed to stir Pudgy Face into action. But then Mr Monkey relised that the reason Potts awoke from his normal drunken state was that his paymaster, Labour Council Leader Miss Piggy aka Iain Malcolm, insisted he laid the council’s wreath. Tory Boy was left with no choice other than to do as he was told especially as he’s now on Miss Piggy’s payroll.

Of course the bribe prospects of a few free sarnies and a couple of dozen gins may have helped him sober up from the excesses of Saturday night!


Let’s Remember

Today is Remembrance Sunday so Mr Monkey will not be posting, instead he asks bloggers to take a moment to remember the millions who have died in conflict around the globe.

Mr Monkey urges everyone to pay their respects wherever they are and to remember those who gave their lives for us.