Archive for the 'Review of 2008' Category


REVIEW OF 2008: Mr Monkey Scoops Gazette Again

Mr Monkey has regularly scooped the Shields Gazette and has brought you news stories that you want to read about before the lazy bastards at the Gazette. It seems that many of you are desperate for real local news and not the shit churned out by the council and the local Labour party that the Gazette favours.

This probably explains why circulation of the local snooze-paper is falling almost on a monthly basis and why many of you are turning to local blogs for the truth behind the spin.

This post is was just another example of Mr Monkey catching Papa John Szymanski with his pants down and his mouth full of sausage rolls.


The Gazette has been scooped by Mr Monkey again!

Whilst the Gazette’s reporters were out on the lash overnight researching future stories Mr Monkey was working overtime to bring readers local news before anyone else and because of this chimps dedicated work Mr Monkeys Blog features two more exclusive news stories, click here and here for details.

The speed and flexibility of local blogs makes you wonder whether there’s any need for a local newspaper snooze-paper unless of course you’re fascinated by Births, Deaths and Marriage Notices!


REVIEW OF 2008: Time To Go Potts

This post appeared the day after The King of Sleaze, Tory Boy councillor David Potts decided not to support a joint unified opposition move to stop former Labour council leader Paul Waggott being awarded Freedom of the Borough after he lost his seat at May’s local elections.

Councillor Potts and his two Tory colleagues actions were solely responsible for this disgraceful show of cronyism.


After the dust has settled on yesterday’s disgraceful Tory antics which resulted in the local Conservatives being solely responsible for former defeated Labour Leader Paul Waggott gaining Freedom of the Borough, The Monkey wonders whether how cheaply easily Tory Boy Potts was bought persuaded by Iain Malcolm’s sweet talking tongue?

Based on Councillor Potts previous track record it would seem that his principles don’t cost much. An odd first class rail ticket, a freebie conference or a menial paid position will usually be enough to buy Tory Boy’s unflinching loyalty.

The Monkey wonders what the other two Tory Councillors, Milburn and Wood, are feeling like this morning. The Monkey suspects that they are downbeat, ashamed and angry to learn that they were conned by their so called leader David Potts in supporting Labour against their will.

The Monkey reckons that Councillors Milburn and Wood are basically decent honourable and principled individuals, unfortunately the same cannot be said of their so called leader. The Monkey suspects that yesterday’s shameful act of Labour arse licking will prove the end of Pottsies national political ambitions.

The Monkey predicts that even at a local level Tory Boy’s days in the limelight are numbered. Perhaps it’s time for a Leadership challenge and The Monkey cannot think of a better candidate than Councillor Milburn who was obviously distressed and embarrassed by yesterday’s antics, at least he is a man of honour, integrity, decency and principle.

'Pottsie political career is in deep shit'

'Pottsie political career is in deep shit'


REVIEW 2008: Gazette Editor Plays Catch Up Again.

Mr Monkey has become increasingly concerned at the growing and unhealthy influence councillor Iain Malcolm has at the Shields Gazette. He’s especially concerned at how easily the editor of the Gazette has allowed himself and the paper to be manipulated by the new council leader and how he’s allowed the council’s press office to dictate what does and doesn’t appear in the paper – so much for journalistic integrity. 

Mr Monkey reckons Papa John’s antics are verging on bringing the Shields Gazette into disrepute and it’s about time his fellow journalists, shareholders and senior management at Johnston Press found out what’s really going on at Britain’s oldest provincial newspaper.

This post is part of a series that aims to do just that.

Good morning Papa John!

Yet again the Malcolm Fanzine Shields Gazette has been left trying to catch Mr Monkey’s tail.

Yesterday Mr Monkey exclusively reported on a robbery at a Jarrow Bookmakers. Mr Monkey can now reveal that Papa John Szymanski has finally woken up and the Gazette has belatedly published the the ‘news’ 12 hours after Mr Monkey first broke it!


REVEIW OF 2008: Is Gazette Coverage Linked To Money?

Like many people Mr Monkey has always thought the amount of coverage given to local villain Noddy Rice and his family was over the top. Back in August this post speculated as to the real reason for Papa John Szymanski’s (editor of the local snooze-paper and chair of the Malcolm Fan Club) obsession with all things ‘Noddy’.

Is Gazette Coverage Linked To Money?

Mr Monkey normally doesn’t bother buying a copy of the Gazette but tonight will be different!

Mr Monkey wants to check out the Family Notices pages to see how much money has been spent on death notices for Ryan Burns, aka ‘Noddy’ Rice’s son. He reckons that this may explain why the Gazette’s coverage of the Noddy Rice clan is always over the top.

Who knows, the Gazette might even break with recent tradition and actually include something worth reading!


REVIEW 2008: The Fat Controller Claims £2251 To Ride The Train

This post appeared back in July and revealed that the King of Sleaze, Tory Boy David Potts set an all time record for his expense claims. The money grabbing bastard screwed more than £2250 out of the council tax payer for first class rail travel in a single year!
Home from Home!

Home from Home!

In a week when MPs expense claims came under scrutiny The Monkey thought it would be an apt time to remind bloggers that South Tyneside’s own Tory Boy, Councillor David Potts still holds the record for a single year’s travel expense claim.

His record breaking claim of £2251.90 for the period April 2005 to March 2006, was largely due to the fact that he screwed the system was claiming first class rail travel to and from Cambridge University where he was partying studying.

Councillor Potts even had the cheek to try and justify his blatant abuse of the public purse. He said, “People who’ve been in touch with me care more about the policies I stand for than the way in which I travel.”

Wrong Councillor Potts people think you screwed the system for personal gain!

Heaven help the poor taxpayer if by some quirk of fate he manages to beat Alistair Darling in the forthcoming General Election. Imagine BA flights from Edinburgh to London, taxis, accommodation costs, secetarial support, office expenses, communication and second home allowances, subsistence and of course the infamous ‘John Lewis’ list.

The Monkey reckons Tory Boy Potts is expecting the tax payer to handover at least half a million pounds in expenses for his five year stint!


REVIEW of 2008: Potts Cums Clean .. on Teachers

Mr Monkey has decided to dedicate the last few days of 2008 to some of the most popular posts of the year. All the archive material published between now and the end of the year has appeared on either Mr Monkey’s Blog or it’s predecessor The Monkeyhouse.

What better way to start this review of 2008 than with the borough’s very own King of Sleaze, Tory Boy councillor David Potts. His lack of morals, double dealing, lying and cheating, sleazy behaviour and his unflinching support for the local Labour party were exposed by Mr Monkey and eventually led to his downfall and de-selection as Parliamentary candidate for Edinburgh South West.

Potts Cums Clean .. on Teachers

Tory leader David Cameron is often ribbed by Gordon Brown for his lack of policies. Luckily for him, local Tory boy Potts has plenty of them, which he’s willing to put into practise at any opportunity.

Today’s policy is education

While last year he demanded the most vulnerable children in society be moved into boarding schools “because it’s cheaper”, now he’s pro-state school..well, pro-state school teachers anyway…

The pudgy-faced Tory boy, who has already had a primary school teacher girlfriend, has now taken to knocking-off a local comprehensive school teacher when he’s not commuting between Edinburgh and here.

A close friend of the (presumably traumatised) young lady contacted an associate of The Monkeyto say that he’d had his wicked way with the teacher upstairs in the Cottage Tavern pub in Cleadon. Trebles all round!

Who’d have thought it, the leader of the Tories on South Tyneside Council caught-up in a cottage-ing tryst.