Archive for the 'Scam' Category


steady eddie’s big day looms

Mr Monkey wonders how many bloggers remember councillor Eddie McAtominey’s brush with the law?

Last year councillor McAtominey was charged with failing to provide a sample when he was pulled over by the police on suspicion of drink driving. CLICK HERE.

His attitude at the time was defiant and he continually protested his innocence .. that is until he was caught a second time. CLICK HERE.

This time he pleaded guilty and was banned from driving and fined £400. Shortly afterwards he also changed his plea to the first charge and admitted his guilt.

Councillor McAtominey was forced to resign his lucrative paid positions on the Northumbria Police Authority and the council’s decision making cabinet and he was also suspended from the Labour party.

Blogers will recall that this is not the first time he’s been suspended – the first time was when he was caught manipulating the tender process in favour of his own company.

Mr Monkey over heard an interesting conversation in the town hall earlier today, apparently councillor McAtominey’s disciplinary hearing – before Labour North – will take place in the next few days and that whilst he has the full backing of his colleagues in the Jarrow Labour party, the outcome has already been determined – he will be thrown out of the Labour party.

Seemingly council leader Iain Malcolm has used his influence to get rid of his main rival for the leadership of the council.

Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether councillor McAtominey might use councillor Iain Malcolm’s own driving ban as a precedent for why he should not be hounded out of the party.


prohibtion or punishing the innocent?

'Beat the taxman, brew your own'

'Beat the taxman, brew your own'

It seems the similarities between today’s economic downturn and the great depression of the 1930’s are becoming more obvious by the day and following Sir Liam Donaldson’s (the chief medicalofficer) announcement on Friday about dramatically increasing the price of a unit of alcohol to allegedly curb binge drinking Mr Monkey reckons Nu-Labour are well on the way to matching that other great achievement of the 1920s and 30s; prohibition.

Anyone with an iota of sense knew that the health lobby were’nt going to stop at cigarettes. It took them long enough to get to the stage where smokers are now treated as pariahs, but they got there. Now, with tax on the things high and getting higher, the cancer sticks being banned from pubs, clubs, workplaces etc., advertising banned, health care services denied to those that won’t give up, patronising ads on TV et al to tell us to stop smoking by making people feel like war criminals if they still light up… the campaign has been templated, noted and laid out to follow in future. The only question is which of the two issues will be battered first? Fast Food, or Drink.

So, Sir Liam Donaldson, with the undoubted patronising acquiescence of the BBC, put forward his agenda on Friday. It isn’t too much of hearing stories like the one where a mother was stopped from buying a bottle of wine in case she gave it to her 14 year old daughter who was food shopping with her. If it isn’t that whatever tax or levy is put on the stuff, the drinks cabinet at the British Medical Association or the House of Commons will probably be liberally stocked, and lightly taxed, and also subsidised in the worst way by the taxpaying saps who will be victims of any policy. If it isn’t because the state believes they need to save us from ourselves, so we can fund their nonsensical bailout policies. No, Sir Liam believes that alcohol should have a minimum price based on the alcohol units in a drink.

The people will rebel on this one, because the vast majority of us like a drink. Mr Monkey included.

Do you know what, this chimp admits being drunk in his time and …

  • You know how many people he’s beaten up or knifed when drunk?
  • You know how many times he’s been to hospital as a result of being drunk?
  • You know how many times he’s been arrested for being of being drunk?

The answer is zero.

Apparently Sir Liam is proposing, in ever such an egalitarian way that because some people have a drink problem and behave like reprobates and cads, and despite having laws to stop them, if they are enforced properly, because of them, you want to punish everyone.

Thank fuck there’s an election looming, Labour’s fear of being cast into the wilderness should put an end to this fuckwit idea – at least for now but Mr Monkey predicts that tough measures to limit the sale of alcohol are on the way.




"I wish I was in King Street. It's a lovely shopping area and I go down there quite often to visit the bank and stores, but only for the cameras you understand. Do you really think I’d swap Harrods for BM Bargains?"

"I wish I was in King Street. It's a lovely shopping area and I go down there quite often to visit the bank and stores, but only for the cameras you understand. But I would'nt swap Harrods for BM Bargains?"

Mr Monkey has introduced a new weekly feature called ‘Twat of the Week’. 

It’s very simple; Mr Monkey will decide which public figure – in or connected to South Tyneside – has made a twat of themselves on camera. He will then post the winning picture on Mr Monkey’s Blog for all the world to see.

Mr Monkey is pleased to announce that the first ‘Twat of the Week’ award goes to the Foreign Secretary and MP for South Shields, David Miliband aka brains – unfortunately he seems to have left them in Colman’s when this picture was taken.


Mr Monkey Humours Councillor Potts – The King of Sleaze

Bloggers will remember The King of Sleaze’s lackey, the Fat Mackem Hobbit getting his cloak in a twist when Mr Monkey revealed that he knew his hero, South Tyneside’s top totty magnet Tory politician, councillor David Potts was lying when he claimed that his girlfriend was pregnant.

According to the Hobbit, the whole thing was an eleboarte hoax dreamt up by the King of Sleaze to see how quickly Mr Monkey would hear about it and whether or not he would corroborate the story. Sadly for this wannabee James Bond when Mr Monkey heard about Pudgy Face’s scam misfortune he knew immediately that it was another pathetic hoax – yes he’s tried the same thing several times before – but this time Mr Monkey thought he’d play along.

Anyone who knows this Tory slime ball will tell you he’s incapable of tying his shoe laces, never mind getting some unsuspecting lass pregnant. If that wasn’t enough to convince Mr Monkey, the ‘happy’ couple’s choice of name was a certain giveaway; apparently they intended saddling Tory Boy’s ‘fantasy bastard’ with the name Mercedes.

Mr Monkey first heard about councillor Potts fantasy from one of Tory Boy’s close associates; about a week before his toilet talk reached the members lounge. By this time the whole world knew about it and it just shows what typeof person people think councillor Potts is when so many of them readily believed that he was capable of shitting on his girlfriend.

If The King of Sleaze is stupid enough to start rumours about himself, Mr Monkey is more than happy to oblige his fantasies by telling the rest of the world about them – if things get too hot to handle, he’s only got himself to blame.


Another Money Making Scam

'The Money Machine'

'The Money Machine'

Last week Mr Monkey revealed that South Tyneside Council is to introduce a mobile CCTV enforcement unit in a bid to raise yet more revenue from the hard pressed motorist. CLICK HERE.

Apparently they took delivery of a vehicle fitted with CCTV camera in late October but it turned out to be the wrong colour – it was black. The vehicle has now been resprayed white and will be unleashed on the unsuspecting motorist in the new year.

Mr Monkey can now reveal that the vehicle designed to trap the borough’s motorists is a white Smart car and been fitted with a specially designed periscope complete with a CCTV camera. 

It will initially be used to catch motorists who drive, park or block bus lanes but Mr Monkey reckons it’s only a matter of time before it patrols the borough enforcing anything that can generate more money for the greedy bastards in the town hall.

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