Archive for the 'Sexual Predator' Category

22
Feb
09

Monkey Clip

This week’s Monkey Clip is dedicated to councillor Michael Clare, aka Casanova.

Apparently this dirty bastard has a bit of a reputation for cheating on his wife behind her back. But beware Casanova, emptying your balls elsewhere can be a an expensive affair.

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20
Feb
09

The King of Sleaze – David Potts is back!

"The King of Sleaze is back"

"The King of Sleaze is back"

Seems the double dealing twat, The King of Sleaze, councillor David Potts has surfaced from his sleazy bolt hole long enough to condemn the council’s bi monthly magazine; On View.

Apparently Pudgy Face Potts reckons it’s huge waste of taxpayers money and should be scrapped. Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether Tory Boy Potts has a short memory, is just plain stupid or was born a fuckwit.

Mama’s boy seems to have forgotten that he was responsible for setting an all time record for a councillor’s travel expenses. He conned claimed nearly £2500 in first class rail journeys to travel to and from Cambridge where he reckons to have been studying. CLICK HERE and HERE.

He’s renowned for using the fact he’s a councillor to scrounge his way into nightclubs, private parties and events that cost money with his “do you know who I am” con.

Now Mr Monkey learns that he was bought off cheaply is eternally grateful to his sponsor Miss Piggy, aka councillor Iain Malcolm for giving him a place at the trough.

Apparently Miss Piggy gave him the position of Vice Chair of the Select Committee Environment, Housing and Transport and Safer and Stronger Communities which carries with it an annual payment of £7,056.

This chimp has taken a closer look at this committee and can reveal that it’s only met 6 times since May 2008 – that’s equal to £1,176 per meeting.

But as with all things connected to the King of Sleaze, nothing is ever what it seems. Councillor Potts has only attended 3 out of the 6 meetings so his price is £2,352 per meeting.

Now that’s what Mr Monkey calls a waste of money.

31
Jan
09

Good time girl

Mr Monkey has been working on a book about the seedier side of the town’s maritime heritage.

As the book is almost finished and the Ark Royal is in town, Mr Monkey thought now is as good a time as any to share some of his work with you.

Whore of The Tyne explores the hidden world of dockside prostitution in South Shields and focuses on local woman, Ugly Betty, who in the 1960s and 70s frequented the Mill Dam area of the town and was notorious for selling companionship and sex to foreign sailors.

The book shows how the dockside sex trade differs from other sectors of the sex insustry and examines the main character’s solicitation strategies. It also explores the cultural dimensions of dockside relations and reveals a mundane reality far removed from mainstream society.

Beside Ugly Betty, the book also explores the role of club owners, taxi drivers, bouncers, barmaids and some of the more shadier characters who inhabit Ugly Betty’s world. 

By delving deep in to the past and talking to some of the people involved, Mr Monkey allows readers to enter the dockside underworld and engage with the shadowy hustlers of this hidden realm.

Through the eyes of Ugly Betty, readers will be able to look at different elements of “the game,” as she relives her life as a dockside prostitute in the fantasy world she created for sailors from around the world.

Her story ends with her integration back into society and her gradual acceptance by the establishment who were instrumental in burying her seedy past – until now.

25
Jan
09

Pudgy’s Infamous Pot Pie

"the taste is in my giblets"

"the taste is in my giblets"

Mr Monkey fancied a pint after he’d been to the cinema and popped into the Red Lion in Boldon.

He expected to see The King of Sleaze holding court at his local but sadly he must have been lying in some gutter. Either that or he’d nipped out in to the bushes for a quicky with one of the locals whilst her husband was having a piss.

Suddenly Mrs Monkey burst out laughing and narrowly missed spraying Mr Monkey with her Southern Comfort.

“What’s so funny” I asked. When Mrs Monkey got her breath back she pointed at the specials board and said, “they’ve even named a pie after Pudgy Face”.

A quick glance at the board revealed that the special was POT PIE. Now it was Mr Monkey’s turn to piss himself .

This chimp can’t help wondering what was in the pie and a quick chat with a regular revealed that it contained a secret ingredient – Tory Boy’s giblets perhaps?

23
Jan
09

Potts .. The Early Years

Mr Monkey has been promised an interesting picture of the King of Sleaze, aka councillor David Potts. Apparently the picture was taken when Pudgy Face was just begining to discover his sexuality – around the age of 13.

Mr Monkey has seen a glimpse of the picture and is not surprised to learn that even Ugly Betty wouldn’t go near the fat bastard in case she caught something he mistook her for a plate of mince and dumplings – smothered in ketchup of course.

Keep an eye on Mr Monkey’s Blog over the weekend, you’ll piss yourself laughing.

16
Jan
09

Mr Monkey Humours Councillor Potts – The King of Sleaze

Bloggers will remember The King of Sleaze’s lackey, the Fat Mackem Hobbit getting his cloak in a twist when Mr Monkey revealed that he knew his hero, South Tyneside’s top totty magnet Tory politician, councillor David Potts was lying when he claimed that his girlfriend was pregnant.

According to the Hobbit, the whole thing was an eleboarte hoax dreamt up by the King of Sleaze to see how quickly Mr Monkey would hear about it and whether or not he would corroborate the story. Sadly for this wannabee James Bond when Mr Monkey heard about Pudgy Face’s scam misfortune he knew immediately that it was another pathetic hoax – yes he’s tried the same thing several times before – but this time Mr Monkey thought he’d play along.

Anyone who knows this Tory slime ball will tell you he’s incapable of tying his shoe laces, never mind getting some unsuspecting lass pregnant. If that wasn’t enough to convince Mr Monkey, the ‘happy’ couple’s choice of name was a certain giveaway; apparently they intended saddling Tory Boy’s ‘fantasy bastard’ with the name Mercedes.

Mr Monkey first heard about councillor Potts fantasy from one of Tory Boy’s close associates; about a week before his toilet talk reached the members lounge. By this time the whole world knew about it and it just shows what typeof person people think councillor Potts is when so many of them readily believed that he was capable of shitting on his girlfriend.

If The King of Sleaze is stupid enough to start rumours about himself, Mr Monkey is more than happy to oblige his fantasies by telling the rest of the world about them – if things get too hot to handle, he’s only got himself to blame.

13
Jan
09

UPDATE: Curly Lies To His Readers

UPDATE: The Fat Mackem Hobbit still refuses to publish any proof that Mr Monkey is behind The Chief Whip an Mr Monkey’s Analyst blogs. But apparently he’s changed his mind about The Monkeyhouse but can’t bring himself to admit he’s a liar. Don’t worry Mr Hobbit I’ll do it for you .. YOU’RE A FUCKING LAIR

The Fat Mackem Hobbit’s obsession with telling the world how important his blog is has been replaced with his obsession for Mr Monkey –  and this chimp loves watching the Fat Mackem Hobbit agonising over how he can steal his readers back from Mr Monkey?

Self styled Mr Integrity aka Graham Rigg, CurlyThe Fat Mackem Hobbit recently questioned the accuracy of some of Mr Monkey’s posts. This followed a post  about The King of Sleaze, David Potts rouse about getting his girlfriend pregnant – more of this later.

This is what the Hobbit had to say,

“How many other posts contain material that is knowingly fabricated, deliberate lies, or unsubstantiated rumours and gossip?”

Yes I’ve copied Curly’s words once again to demonstrate what a hypocritical and lying little Fat Hobbit he is.

Mr Monkey reckons this hairy Hobbit should get his own house in order before getting on his Barbie box and telling other people what to do with theirs.

Mr Monkey could publish numerous examples of Mr Integrity’s double standards but there’s no better example than his recent post that included the quote above, highlighted in red.

Without checking the facts, which apparently he always does, he deliberately misleads his readers by claiming Mr Monkey has posted under three other guises including The Chief Whip, Mr Monkey’s Analyst and The Monkeyhouse and that these sites have now closed.

What a lying fuckwit you are Curly.

You have no proof Mr Monkey was behind The Chief Whip or Mr Monkey’s Analyst and if you have publish it.

The Monkeyhouse was a temporary blog set up by Mr Monkey and was the fore runner to Mr Monkey’s Blog. This chimp has always told readers (that can be bothered to look) that he’s behind both of them. CLICK HERE.

Bloggers can see another example of his deliberate lies by CLICKING HEREyes The Monkeyhouse is alive and well!

Seems Curly is nothing more than a lying self opinionated individual who considers himself to be on some sort of integrity crusade to clear the blogging world of anything and anyone that doesn’t fit into his narrow and bigoted view of the world.

Mr Monkey reckons the Hobbit is busy looking for a white suit in the winter sales so he can take the place of that other crackpot Martin Bell.