Archive for the 'STD' Category


Good time girl

Mr Monkey has been working on a book about the seedier side of the town’s maritime heritage.

As the book is almost finished and the Ark Royal is in town, Mr Monkey thought now is as good a time as any to share some of his work with you.

Whore of The Tyne explores the hidden world of dockside prostitution in South Shields and focuses on local woman, Ugly Betty, who in the 1960s and 70s frequented the Mill Dam area of the town and was notorious for selling companionship and sex to foreign sailors.

The book shows how the dockside sex trade differs from other sectors of the sex insustry and examines the main character’s solicitation strategies. It also explores the cultural dimensions of dockside relations and reveals a mundane reality far removed from mainstream society.

Beside Ugly Betty, the book also explores the role of club owners, taxi drivers, bouncers, barmaids and some of the more shadier characters who inhabit Ugly Betty’s world. 

By delving deep in to the past and talking to some of the people involved, Mr Monkey allows readers to enter the dockside underworld and engage with the shadowy hustlers of this hidden realm.

Through the eyes of Ugly Betty, readers will be able to look at different elements of “the game,” as she relives her life as a dockside prostitute in the fantasy world she created for sailors from around the world.

Her story ends with her integration back into society and her gradual acceptance by the establishment who were instrumental in burying her seedy past – until now.


Former Conservative Parliamentary Candidate Father’s A Bastard

'If only she'd learned her highway code'

'If only she'd learned her highway code'

Seems The King of Sleaze, Tory Boy David Potts who loves nothing more than putting his dick about may have scored an own goal of mega proportions.

For several days the talk in the members room has been about Pudgy Face Potts and how he’s managed to get his long suffering girlfriend pregnant – the free condoms had holes in them!

Seems this drunken former Conservative Parliamentary candidate and failed local politician who has a reputation for hard drinking and fucking anything with a hole may have fathered a bastard. Apparently he’s been telling anyone that would listen he’s got no intention of doing the decent thing and marrying the poor lass – he claims he’s too young and is not ready to settle down yet.

Mr Monkey reckons this latest example of Conservative family values as demonstrated by it’s group leader will put paid to any outside chance councillor Potts had of ever making a career out of politics.

Perhaps it’s time the lazy bastard found himself a real job .. something like a male prostitute. That way he get to do the things he really wants like fuck, be fucked whilst earning a few quid. But isn’t that what he’s doing already since he sold out his party to Labour council leader Iain Malcolm for thirty pieces of silver?


Enough To Make You Cum

Mr Monkey reckons some pervert’s in the town hall will be following every filthy little detail of this case with interest CLICK HERE.

This chimp can’t help wondering whether this explains why so many arses are twitching at the prospect of being handcuffed to a bed .. I suppose it’s cheaper than buying a night’s subscription to Gay TV.


Potts Joins The Labour Benches

The King of Sleaze, disgraced Tory councillor David Potts has pulled some stupid fucking stunts in his time but what Mr Monkey witnessed on Friday night at Waggott’s Freedom of the Borough bash has got to top the lot.


The first part of the ‘lets pay homage to our fallen comrade’ charade was held in the council chamber.


Around 110 people attended the formal presentation with Labour councillors, the King of Sleaze and of all people, Jim Capstick taking up seats in the chamber.


Given that the evening was only taking place because Tory Boy Potts – the Boldon Pussy Prowler, forced his two colleagues in to voting for the motion to reward Waggott, it was was fitting that The King of Sleaze swapped his usual place on the opposition benches for a seat on Labour’s front bench.


Yes the arsehole had the audacity to cross the floor and join his Labour lackies on their side of the chamber.


And out of all the people he decided to sit next, he parked his portly arse next to Shrek aka councillor Ernest Gibson. This is the man Pudgy Face vehemently hates because he exposed him as the most likely person behind the Brenda fiasco.


Mr Monkey still can’t get over what he witnessed on Friday but now he’s had time to think about it Mr Monkey reckons he was trying out the seat for size.


Cum May 2010 if Potts is re-elected he’ll have nowhere else to go, that assumes Malcolm has a use for him!


Morning Pussy Prowler!

Mr Monkey has an early morning rendezvous in Houghton this morning, something to do with councillor Ed Malcolm. 


Like thousands of other people he forgot to turn his alarm clock back at the weekend so he’s got an hour spare and thought he’d put it to good use.


Seems The King of Sleaze, councillor David Potts failed to get shag last night so he’s had to make do with a few extra gins and a hand job so it will be a while before he surfaces from his drunken pit.


Mr Monkey thought he would be the bearer of good news this morning especially as he had a major role to play in his Tory Boy’s downfall by getting him dumped as the Conservative Parliamentary candidate for Edinburgh South West.


It seems his former Scottish colleagues have learned by their mistakes and have chosen his replacement wisely. Whilst they’ve opted for someone in the Potts mould (without the beef), they’ve been careful to make sure that his replacement comes without the baggage and sleaze associated with Pudgy Face.


They also wanted to keep things local after councillor Potts’s failure to do any campaigning in the constituency.


Mr Monkey reckons sleaze ball Potts knows his replacement well. He’s about the same age as Pudgy, is a local councillor, he’s employed in the legal profession (yes you pussy prowler, that’s work) and is an active member of the local Conservative party, something Potts knows nothing about.


His name is Jason Rust and you can read more about him here, here and here 


Seems Alistair Darling’s new opponent might give him a run for his money, something Potts was never likely to do!




Potts The Pussy Magnate

The King of Sleaze councillor David Potts who was recently dumped as a Conservative Parliamentary candidate seems to think of himself as a bit of a pussy magnate.

Mr Monkey witnessed Pudgy Face in action on Friday night when he was one of only two opposition councillors to attend Waggott’s Freedom of the Borough event in the town hall.

Tory Boy Potts downed as much booze as he could before his dick homed in on Labour’s Emma Lewell who represented his only chance of a shag.

The alternatives don’t bear thinking about. Howay would you shag councillors McMillan, Walsh, Puncheon, Meeks or Waggott if you knew where they’d been?


Has Potts Been Dumped?

Seems Pudgy Face, the disgraced former Conservative Parliamentary candidate and Cleadon and East Boldon councillor David Potts is living up to his name.

During his holiday self imposed exile he took to binge drinking and comfort eating which may go some way towards explain why he’s piled the beef on.

Mr Monkey was taken a back the other evening when he stopped by the Red Lion and noticed a Billy Bunter lookalike in the corner. It turns out that this bloated figure lurking in the shadows was none other than Tory Boy, David Potts.

Given the state of him, Mr Monkey reckons his long suffering girlfriend Roberta has probably dumped him before she catches some unsavory disease and starts itching between her legs. Mr Potts willingness to put his dick about places her in the high risk category.

Either that or she just doesn’t fancy the ‘lard arse’ anymore.

Never mind councillor Potts at least you’re free to join the borough’s other political heavyweights at the buffet table .. if there’s room!