Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category


Has Mr Monkey sailed off into the sunset?

'Mr Monkey sails off into the sunset but'

'Mr Monkey sails off into the sunset but'

From midnight tonight Mr Monkey will no longer be posting any new material on his blog.

The decision to call it day was a difficult one because Mr Monkey knows that he has built up a large following in record time. He’s caused mayhem in the corridors of power and he’s enjoyed every minute of his blogging experience. 

This chimp is especially happy to know that every senior council officer, councillor and the editor of the Shields Gazette are scared shit less at the thought of being featured on Mr Monkey’s Blog. But the icing on the cake was knowing that Mr Monkey put an end to the Westminster ambitions of councillors David Potts and Ed Malcolm and exposed council leader Iain Malcolm as an election fraudster.

Although no new material will be posted on this blog, Mr Monkey has decided to leave the site as it is so that bloggers can trawl through the archives to learn more about Mr Monkey’s crusade to expose the corruption, scheming and cheating that has become so entrenched in local politics.

He will be making a further announcement on September 1st .


highlights: Something for Potts To Think About

Apparently there’s a bit of confusion today over what exactly David Potts got up to at university.

Mr Monkey is busy researching this on behalf of the people of South Tyneside and Edinburgh who deserve to know what a lying little shit Tory Boy Potts is turning out to be.

Well Pudgy I know you visit this site at least 10 times a day so perhaps you’d like to tell us what a tripos is? You should know because according to records that have now come into my possession from around the time you were first elected, you claimed that you were doing one!

Now if I was a betting man I would run into Ladbrookes and put a bet on you never making MP!


Highlights: I Park Where I Want .. I’m Rob Dicks!

"I park where I want because I'm a councillor."

"I park where I want because I'm a councillor."

Last week Labour Councillor Rob Dix got away with an alleged incident involving racially aggreveated assault on an employee of the council’s own parking enforcement company Apoca who had the nerve to issue Councillor Dix with a parking ticket, click here.

The councillor was arrested, bailed, bailed again and then after things calmed down and the spotlight shifted to fellow Labour Councillor Eddie MacAtomoney click here no charges were  brought!

Strange then how parking company bosses were summoned to a meeting with the Ed Malcolm & co and were left in no doubt that their contract may not be renewed. 

Around the same time bloggers will recall Labour Councillors attacking their own enforcement company via the Shields Gazette click here, yes the same company that only months before they approved as their enforcers!

Mr Monkey has learned that Apoca bosses then interviewed the traffic warden concerned and tried to apply pressure to have him withdraw the accusations. He refused.

Since then the person in question has been ostracised by some of his bosses and his life has been made pretty uncomfortable. Mr Monkey wonders whether this is a concerted attempt, because of external pressure, to get rid of him.

The traffic warden has also faced hostility and abuse from certain quarters and been intimidated by a number of ‘heavies’ who he claims racially abused him.

When he subsequently called the police the ‘heavies’ stuck to what appeared to be a pre-determined story to discredit the individual and claimed he was lying. The traffic warden was then bizarrely arrested for wasting police time and is currently suspended.

All this before Councillor Rob Dix had to answer bail (for the second time)!

Coincidence, or a deliberate attempt to discredit the individual .. well you make up your mind.

Mr Monkey will be watching with interest who the Labour’s candidates are in in 2010 and reckons that we may well see someone with a police an interesting background. It’s not that long since the Mayor’s chauffeur was rewarded rose to the dizzy heights of Mayor for helping a certain Iain Malcolm recover from a kick up the arse!


a date for your diary!

Mr Monkey is about to spring a major surprise on his unsuspecting victims.

This naughty chimp’s surprise is going catch most of the fuckwits in the town hall off-guard .. and that’s all he’s prepared to say for now. 

Keep an eye on Mr Monkey’s Blog over the next few weeks and make sure you stop by on Tuesday 1st September .. when all will be revealed.


the return of woody

After being consigned to the scrap heap by the people of Beacon and Bents it seems former Labour councillor John ‘Woody’ Morris has decided the time is right to make a comeback.

Despite telling anyone how would listen after he was beaten by Indy councillor Ahmed Khan in the 2008 election that he wouldn’t be like the rest of them and try to “get back in”, it’s taken him just a year to change his mind.

 Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether the £16,000 + a year he used to get and all the freebies that went with being a Labour councillor are the real reasons why he wants to make a quick return – either that or he misses the thrill of shagging in the lift.


breaking news: you greedy bastard harry!

Breaking news …

South Shields MP and Foreign Secretary David Miliband is waking up this morning to find that his whiter than white image has been tarnished following revelations in today’s Daily Telegraph about his  parliamentary expenses.

The disclosures show the scale of ministers’ claims and the extent to which politicians have exploited the MP’s expenses system to subsidise their lifestyles at our expense.

David Miliband is among 13 members of the Cabinet facing questions over their use of Parliamentary expenses. Apparently David has claimed hundreds of pounds on gardening at his consituency home in South Shields, even though he and his wife spent less time there than he does traveling around the world in a private jet. Even his gardener questioned whether it was necessary to spend the money on pot plants “given [the] relatively short time you’ll be here”.

He also tried to claim  £199 for pram £80 for baby essentials but the Parliamentary Authorities thought this was taking the piss and refused to allow his claim.

If you would like to read more about these latest examples of Labour’s greed and blatant disregard for taxpayers money visit the Daily Telegraph website at 

By the way David have you managed to claim for your underpants yet, it looks as though you’re going to need them as you try to wriggle your way out of this one!


on the move

'monkeys on the move'

'monkeys on the move'

Regular bloggers will have noticed that posting has been a bit on the light side recently. This is because Mr Monkey has been forced into doing a bit of hard graft.

For the past 6 weeks this chimp has been spending any spare time he’s had doing diy jobs at the monkey’s new abode.

If that wasn’t enough, he’s been conned into packing boxes and crates ready for the removal van. 

This weekend will see major upheaval in the monkey household as they move into there new property and Mr Monkey is overjoyed at the prospect of unpacking all the shite that has been gathered over the years. 

This chimp would like to apologise for the disruption to his blog and promises to resume normal service asap.