Must Try Harder When It Comes To Attendances

Seems another local blogger has stolen a march on the Gazette Malcolm Fanzine when it comes to councillors attendance records.

A year ago the Northern Herald CLICK HERE ran a Private Eye style report on the attendance record of councillors for the previous 12 months and it makes interesting reading.

The Northern Herald report covered all committees attendances over a 12 month period and provides bloggers with an accurate picture of attendance levels. This appraoch accuratley reflects the commitment shown by each councillor to attending meetings on a week by week basis and not just a select few that they are ‘forced’ to attend because the leader (Miss Piggy) and party whips said so.

It seems that when you do the maths over 12 months a very different picture emerges to the one that is portrayed in Birdman Maclean’s e-mail, CLICK HERE.

LICENSING COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 19 OCTOBER 2007
No register taken before 18 October 2007. However, on the 19th the following members were absent without sick notes; Atkinson, Dix, Gibson, Hanson, Hickman, Lewell, McMillan, Perry, Punchion, Strike and Thompson. Present were Lewis, Meeks and Potts (?) On the 18th the school didn’t have enough members present to form a team., so they had to come back the day after.

HUMAN RESOURCES. LESSONS UP TO 24 OCTOBER 2007
Robinson, Punchion, McMillan, Hetherington and Boyack all receive a gold star for full attendance ( 4 att out of 4). Silver stars to Foreman (3 att out of 4) and Atkinson (2 att out of 4). A bronze award to McAtominey and Branley (1 att out 0f 4) while Bell. J. is suspended for not bothering to come to school ( 0 att out of 4).

CABINET. LESSONS UP TO 17 OCTOBER 2007
Full marks to Sewell and Woods for never missing the school bus (12 att out of 12). What was the matter boys, frightened in case the other boys talked about you? Well done Henderson (11 att out of 12); get to the bus stop earlier and you could be like the rest. The other members in the class managed the following; McAtominey and Waggot (Head Boy) managed to get to school 10 out of 12 times, followed closely by Foreman and Brady with 9 attout of 12. Malcolm in the Middle with 8 out of 12, watch those pizzas’s boy! Last again Bell, with 7 out of 12 attendances. Much more of this and it’s the heads office for you girl!

APPEALS COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 5 OCTOBER 2007
Nolan, Potts, Boyack, Brady, McAtominey and Wood will receive lines and the cane for failing to turn up on 6 out of 6 occasions. Potts, the schools particularly disappointed with you as you should know better, you were warned last year. Litter duty goes to McKie and Meeks (1 att out of 6) with Hanson (2 att out of six) holding the black bin liner. Gibson (4 att out of 6) Hickman and Lewis (5 att out of 6) extra custard.

NEIGHBOURHOOD SERVICES SCRUTINY COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 23 OCTOBER 2007
Top of the class awards to Hetherington, Maxwell, Meeks and Nolan (5 att out of 5), followed by Waddle, Anglin, Lewis and Scorer (4 att out 5). Atkinson and Perry (3 att out of 5) and Boyack (2 attout of 5) stop hanging around the playground with Haram and Strike, their bad influences on you (1 att out of 5).

GENERAL PURPOSE COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 27 SEPTEMBER 2007
I have had to ask the school governors what these lessons actually involve. Elsom, McAtominey, McKie and Milburn (0 att out 2) its pointless asking you what went on. Defty, Hetherington and waddle (1 att out of 2) consider new lessons and Brady, Bell, Clare, Foreman, Hanson, Malcolm, Sewell and Waggot (2 att out of 2) for Gods sake get yourselves a hobby!

CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE SCRUTINY COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 17 JULY 2007
Branley, Dixon, Kidd and McMillan – act your age(0 att out of 2). McKie, Punchion and Stewart, behave (1 att out of 2). Donaldson, Kerr, McCabe, Robinson and Wood (Scottish lad) well done (2 att out of 2).

AUDIT COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 26 JUNE 2007
Anglin, Pigott, Wood. J. and Davidson, extra privileges (2 att out of 2). Branley, shoe shining duty (0 att out of 2).

OVERVIEW AND SCRUTINY AND CALL IN COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 9 OCTOBER 2007
Abbott, Capstick (4 att out of 4) Defty, Meeks, Maxwell and Perry (3 att out 4) – the schools very proud of you. Donaldson and McCabe (2 att out 4) Dix, Elsom and Potts – why bother (1 att out 4). Malcolm. E. and Scorer, you’re a disruptive influence on the rest of the class (0 att out 4).

REGULATORY AND RESOURCES SCRUTINY COMMITTEE. LESSONS UP TO 11 SEPTEMBER 2007
Pigott, Malcolm, Nolan and Dix (3 att out of 3) extra milk. Anglin, Leask, Robinson and Wood. D., semi skimmed (2 att out of 3). Branley, Lewis and Spraggon (1 att out of 3) and Gibson (0 att out of 3) red top for you watery eyed fops!

FULL COUNCIL. LESSONS UP TO 25 OCTOBER 2007
And finally – the big boy and girls school. With severe over crowding in this class, if your names are not mentioned, it’s the school badge for you. Well done! However, toilet duty to the following; Branley, McMillan and Haram (2 att out of 5). Defty, Harrison, Lewell, Maxwell and Potts, library duty all week (3 att out of 5).