Archive for the 'Chuckle Brothers' Category

30
Jul
09

highlights: council leader Iain Malcolm rigs ballot to cheat tory Pat Piggott out of victory

council Iain Malcolm

Election fraudster - council leader Iain Malcolm

Mr Monkey would like to take readers back to April 2000.

Councillor Iain Malcolm was up for re-election and it was widely believed that he faced a tough fight against Patricia Piggott, a strong Conservative candidate.  

 

Many people including Iain Malcolm believed that he would lose his seat to the Conservative so he decided to take matters into his own hands and rig the ballot to ensure he won and there was no better way to do this than by manipulating the postal vote – Labour’s recently introduced new election fixing tool. 

Councillor Iain Malcolm ensured that every elderly person in his ward was registered to vote and encouraged them to vote by post. He assured them that there was nothing complicated about the process especially as he and his associates would be on hand to fill the ballot papers in for them and even offered to post them on their behalf.

Councillor Iain Malcolm particularly targeted care homes, sheltered accommodation and OAP bungalows. As a sitting councillor no council employee was going to deny him access so he was free to come and go as he pleased.

 

As the election was nearing its climax, councillor Iain Malcolm was increasingly worried about the reaction on the doorstep and decided that it was time for drastic intervention otherwise he would lose his seat.

 

Around the same time the sitting MP for South Shields, Dr David Clarke was planning to retire at the next general election which was due to be held within the next year or so.

 

The only problem was that councillor Iain Malcolm had been selected to sit on the Parliamentary panel and was likely to be selected to replace Dr Clarke as Labour’s parliamentary candidate at the forthcoming election – something Dr Clarke was desperate to avoid, he even raised the matter with the then Prime Minister Tony Blair.

 

Dr Clarke despised everything Iain Malcolm stood for, he didn’t trust him and questioned his integrity. It wasn’t long before Dr Clarke was proved right.

 

Prior to polling day councillor Iain Malcolm instructed all Labour party members in Horsley Hill to go around people’s homes collecting any postal voting envelopes that hadn’t been posted on the pretext of “we’ll post them for you”. But instead of posting them he asked his supporters to hand them over to him.

 

A crucial part of Iain Malcolm’ strategy was to ensure that the postal votes from care homes, sheltered accommodations and OAP bungalows were collected in person. He entrusted this task to an unsuspecting Labour party member called Tom Taylor. He told him to take all the envelopes to his house and that he would come and collect them later.

 

After he had collected them he called Iain Malcolm to tell him that he had finished his task and that they were at his house awaiting collection. Shortly after Iain Malcolm arrived.

 

Tom’s wife Mary, asked Iain Malcolm to step inside the house and when he saw that Tom was as good as his word and had collected a large number of envelopes he sat down and started to sort through them. Then to the total and utter dismay of these life long Labour supporters he started to open the envelopes in their front room and removed the ballot papers. Any votes for Labour were returned to the envelope and resealed for posting and any votes for Pat Piggott, the Conservative candidate were destroyed.

 

In the early hours of May 5th the election result was announced and as people had predicated it was a close run thing. Iain Malcolm was declared the winner with 785 votes with Pat Piggott polling 709 votes, a difference of just 76 votes.

 

Iain Malcolm celebrated his victory by announcing to a handful of associates that he had cheated Pat Piggott out of victory by destroying her votes and said that he’d done what he’d needed to do to ensure that no Tory took his seat.

 

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Part 2 of this disgraceful act of betrayal will follow shortly.

 

UPDATE: Saturday 28th March at 10.35am

Yesterday was a record breaking day for Mr Monkey’s Blog with 4,163 hits being recorded. Bloggers also helped set an all time record for the highest number of hits on a single post.

 

UPDATE DATE: Friday 27th March at 20.55pm
Apparently Mr Monkey’s blog was mentioned at yesterday’s meeting of the full council and by all accounts it caused quite a stir. Some councillors appeared to want a hole to open up and swallow them. Others managed to raise a wry smile but sadly one or two just sat there with a blank expression on their face.

21
Jul
09

mr monkey calls it a day

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can go home'

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can return home to enjoy his retirement'

It’s been nearly a year since Mr Monkey burst on to the local political scene with the redesigned version of Mr Monkey’s Blog

.. and what a year it’s been.

This chimp had no idea of the effect his blog would have on politicians of all parties and senior council officers or the impact it would have on local politcs.

Mr Monkey quickly built up a following amongst local bloggers and within weeks, Mr Monkey’s Blog established itself as South Tyneside’s premier blog, much to the annoyance of some.

There have been many highlights during the last 12 months but Mr Monkey’s favourites are:-

  • Ending councillor David Potts political career before it started by getting him deselected as the Tory candidate to fight Alistair Darling.
  • Ensuring that the people of Washington East and Houghton knew what a devious and scheming individual Ed Malcom was. This played a major part  in his failure to become their prospective member of Parliament.
  • Exposing council leader Iain Malcolm as an election fraudster.
  • Knowing that Irene Lucas, the Chief Executive of South Tyneside Council could not control, manipulate or stop Mr Monkey and that his blog was the worst thing that happened to her in her local government career.
  • Knowing that every politician feared being exposed on Mr Monkey’s Blog and despite what they said, knowing that everyone of them read it daily.
  • Exposing Ed Malcolm’s long term affair with his ‘granny’, aka councillor Punchion
  • ‘Outing’ Iain Malcolm.
  • Continually thwarting the attempts of senior council officials to stop Mr Monkey’s Blog and reveal the identity of Mr Monkey.
  • Frustrating South Tyneside’s most self opinionated blogger, the Fat Mackem Hobitt.
  • Exposing Papa John Szymanski, editor of the local Malcolm Fanzine, aka the Shields Gazette as a Labour groupie, freeloader and that he sold his soul to Labour for the price of a sausage roll.
  • Knowing that all the pseudonyms Mr Monkey has used will be around for years to come.

After achieving every goal Mr Monkey set himself - in record time - this chimp has decided to give his victims an early birthday present - Mr Monkey is going to call it a day on Thursday 30th July.

Mr Monkey has spent the last couple of months agonising over whether or not to retire and after talking it over with a few wiser chimps, he’s decided to take their advice and return to the jungle to enjoy his retirement and spend more time with his family.

Although Mr Monkey has decided to call it a day, he hasn’t yet made up his mind about whether to leave Mr Monkey’s Blog on the internet for future generations to enjoy or whether to remove it forever - that decision will be made on International Primate Day.

Make sure you stop by on Tuesday 1st September .. when all will be revealed.

17
Jul
09

mr united set to challenge labour

Any day now Steady Eddie, aka councillor McAtominey the disgraced Labour councillor and convicted felon will learn whether or not he’s to be booted out of the Labour party.

Councillor McAtominey, who was suspended from the Labour party last year after being arrested on suspicion of drink driving and was later convicted of failing to provide a sample has had his case referred to the National Executive of the Labour party after Labour North shirked their responsibilities and failed to terminate his membership.

Steady Eddie made things worse for himself when he was arrested for a second time and charged with drink driving. This time he pleaded guilty and was banned from driving.

Councillor McAtominey is no stranger to controversy – he was suspended from the Labour party for 4 years after he was caught cheating on printing tenders with the help of his now wife councillor Nancy Maxwell, who was a union employee and his accomplice.

Mr Monkey has been told by an insider that councillor McAtominey has decided that if he’s thrown out of the Labour party he will not stand down as a councillor but instead he will cross the floor and become an Independent, so will his wife councillor Maxwell.

Apparently they’ve already discussed this with their friend and Labour party thug enforcer, councillor John McCabe and councillor McAtominey is telling those close to him that councillor McCabe is  likely to follow him and rejoin the ranks of the Independents after first being elected as an Independent and then crossing the floor to Labour.

Steady Eddie is predicting that he’s the man to unite the opposition groups and that he will lead the challenge on Labour. He’s determined to go down in history as the man that killed off the Malcolms.

Good luck Mr United – this chimp is looking forward to seeing you in action once again, but this time with the support of some ferocious allies instead of the fuckwits you currently share the benches with.

14
Jul
09

especially for the chuckle brothers

After last week’s false alarm when the Chuckle Brothers, aka councillors Ed and Iain Malcolm thought they’d discovered Mr Monkey’s whereabouts CLICK HERE this chimp reckons they deserve a consolation prize.

So come on boys try your hand at this CLICK HERE - it’s the closest you’ll ever come to catching this ape.

11
Jul
09

captured: monkey’s whereabouts revealed

'false alarm'

'false alarm'

Seems Mr Monkey’s hiding place may have been uncovered. At least that’s if you believe what you read in the Malcolm Fanzine, aka Shields Gazette.

Sadly for Iain and Ed Malcolm, aka the Chuckle Brothers it’s not the monkey that they’d like to see back behind bars, for that they’d need to look a bit closer to home. CLICK HERE.

29
Jun
09

silence of the chimps – part 2

Last week Mr Monkey revealed that a handful of senior councillors and council officers have become so obsessed with Mr Monkey’s Blog that they’ll stop at nothing to close it down – as long as they can pass the costs on to the taxpayer.

This chimp also told bloggers that the council has spent more than £30,000 on legal advice in an effort to silence the chimp. CLICK HERE. 

Mr Monkey can now reveal the council was told by the lawyers they consulted that if they wanted to pursue the chimp in the American courts the cost would be around £400,000 and that there was no guarantee of success.

They also told the council that if they managed to force WordPress – via the US courts – to reveal the IPaddress used by Mr Monkey to register his blog, this was only the beginning of a long and expensive legal process.

WordPress would only reveal the IP address, service provider i.e BT and the details used at the time of registration. The council would then need to go to court again – this time in the UK to get a court order to force BT to reveal the location of the IP address. Again this would not necessarily reveal the identity of Mr Monkey and they could end up being told that the IP address was registered to a wifi location in Middlesborough, Sunderland, Newcastle or Durham and that the person who registered with WordPress was could have used a false name.

Imagine what the public would say about a council who spends hundreds of thousands of pounds of taxpayers money chasing a monkey and all because the Chuckle Brothers can’t face the prospect of being labelled as a couple of scheming, lying, cheating and corrupt wankers.

This chimp can now confirm that the executive of the council refused to pursue this action on cost grounds and that their decision left the Chuckle Brothers feeling angry and frustrated.

Mr Monkey can now reveal that 10 weeks ago the same group of Labour councillors approached the executive and police again and this time they gave them the name of a person they belive is Mr Monkey, but unfortunately for them, the legal and police advice remains the same.

It seems that despite the Chuckle Brothers best efforts to silence Mr Monkey - Iain and Ed Malcolm are going to have to learn to live with this chimp who according to some experts may live up to 60 years!

24
Jun
09

silence of the chimps – part 1

It seems senior councillors and a handful of council officers have become so obsessed with Mr Monkey’s Blog that they’ll stop at nothing to close it down – as long as it doesn’t cost them anything.

It took just 2 weeks for these fuckwits to shit themselves at the prospects of being exposed for the corrupt, scheming and devious fraudsters that they really are.

Council leader Iain Malcolm acted quickly and ordered senior council officers to censor Mr Monkey’s Blog by barring access to it from council owned computers. In his eagerness to hide the truth from his own colleagues and officials he also barred access to another local blog.

The owner of the blog - the Fat Mackem Hobitt – begged councillor Malcolm to allow people to access his blog from council owned equipment and in return he agreed to do anything Miss Piggy, aka Iain Malcolm asked of him.  CLICK HERE.

Unfortunately councillor Malcolm failed to realise that his actions would have the opposite effect and instead of putting an end to his ape like antics, Mr Monkey’s Blog became an overnight sensation and quickly established itself as South Tyneside’s premier political blog.

In December Mr Monkey told bloggers about the Malcolms attempts to get the police to close Mr Monkey’s Blog after they received a monkey Christmas card – apparently they were intimidated by it – but were told to stop wasting police time and that if they had any concerns it was a civil matter that had nothing to do with the police. CLICK HERE 

In April Mr Monkey revealed that he had received a tip off that the council had spent thousands of pounds on legal advice to find a way of shutting down Mr Monkey’s Blog CLICK HERE. 

After the initial visit to the police in December 2008 this same councillors lead by Iain Malcolm approached the executive of the council and ordered them to start legal proceedings against WordPress, via the courts, to reveal the account holders details and therefore reveal the identity of Mr Monkey. 

The council took professional legal advice from experts in internet and international law to determine what legal action could be taken against WordPress. They spent over £30,000 of public money and were told that any legal action against WordPress – who are based in the US – would have to be in the American courts and would be very costly.

They were also told that it was unlikely to succeed and if it did, they would not get the identity of Mr Monkey but only the IP address used by Mr Monkey when he registered with WordPress and this could have been done from anywhere including public places with wifi access.

… to be continued.

23
Jun
09

happy birthday mr monkey

Happy birthday Mr Monkey

Happy birthday Mr Monkey

It’s been a year since Mr Monkey first burst on to the local blogging scene with his controversial blog,  The Monkeyhouse

Regular bloggers will recall that The Monkeyhouse first opened it’s doors on an experimental basis on the 22nd June 2008 before moving to a more permanent home over at Mr Monkey’s Blog in late July 2008.

Mr Monkey promised to focus on political news and gossip in South Tyneside and claimed that he would “leave no stone unturned in an attempt to expose the truth behind the headlines and those who make them”.

What he didn’t realise is that those who make the headlines would shit themselves at the prospect of being exposed by this chimp and that they would stop at nothing in an effort to silence Mr Monkey.

Sorry to disappoint you fuckwits in the corridors of power, but despite your best efforts, Mr Monkey is still alive and kicking and unfortunately for you bastards – who only know how to lie, cheat, scheme and con the public - Mr Monkey has come a long way in a short space of time .. and this is just the beginning!

10
Jun
09

eurocar: a regular contributor to mr monkey’s blog

On Monday Mr Monkey said he would publish a list of all the comments on his site that used the eurocar@hotmail.com and eurocar@hotmail.co.uk CLICK HERE.

This followed revelations that council leader Iain Malcolm was behind at least two comments left on Mr Monkey’s Blog during the recent taxpayer funded councillors jolly to France and that he or one of his stooges – most likely councillor Steve Harrison - used the eurocar e-mail address to post the comments.

Mr Monkey also revealed that there seemed to be a link between eurocar and Iain Malcolm. Comments left on this site suggest that the link is councillor Steve Harrison – apparently he owns a company called eurocar and that this company recently won a lucartive contract to supply transport services for the elderly. 

Mr Monkey can now reveal that the eurocar e-mail address has been used around 90 times to post comments on this site (under various names) and they have nearly always come from the same IP address - until the French jolly.

The style, tone and terminology of these comments is indentical except for the two comments written by Iain Malcom whilst he was in France. Ironically the other 88 comments left by councillor Harrison demonstrates what he really thinks about his colleagies and Mr Monkey reckons they will be overjoyed at the prospect of having this eloquent and confused individual in their ranks.

Here are some of the comments that have appear to have been posted by Steve Harrison from the eurocar address – to help put them in context, Mr Monkey has also included a link to the original post:-

On George Elsom ..

Recon a lot of Councillors in South Tyneside wished he broke his fuckin neck.Heard a canny story about the time he shit his pants on the golf course when one of his mates threatend the Bastard, maybe Mr Monkey would like me to share it with his bloggers?
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/twat-of-the-year/

George ‘ive pissed me pants’ Elsom, is coming towards the end of his political life. He was bought very cheaplyoff Iain’miss piggy’Malcolm and a shit vice chair was all he had to show for it. His Missus Olive – had the embarrasment of one of the lowest ever votes in South Tyneside, what a sorry loser u are George. You have no hope of ever getting elected again, because the Indys are going to hammer your ward when its your turn to stand, Better still every other opposition party wants u gone including Labour. Ha ha ha bought for a poxy vice chair then sailed down the tyne like a peice of shit.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/twat-of-the-year/

On David Potts .. 

Apparantly his Dick dont work to well according to one Scrubber from the Cottage pub in Cleadon.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2009/01/24/the-prince-of-sleaze/

I thought Fat pigs flew not took the train?
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/29/review-2008-the-fat-controller-claims-2251-to-ride-the-train/

Do you want me to bring him in for questioning?
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/06/is-potts-a-habitual-liar/

On Eddie McAtominey..

It Was reported in the Malcolm fanzine ( Gazette ) last week that the residents of Hebburn have a 5,500 name petition against the Tescoville
development and PISSED-AS-A-DRUNKEN-CUNT McAtominey told them to basic’ly PISS OFF he was going to make the decision not them. Well i think the boots on the other foot now.

https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/13/will-steady-eddie-throw-in-the-towel/

Theres over 40K gannin in that hoose, paid for of course by the hard working taxpayers. Drunken bastard gets 7k basic 12k Police Athourity, 10k Cabinet
Fiddiling Nanc gets 7k Basic and 9+k Chair of Scrutiny. she should of scrutinized that fat tango’ed twat

https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/11/what-does-steady-eddie-know-about-you-iain/

Aye this Fucka has got away with it for years, after the scandal when he was kicked out of the Labour party for fiddiling, I and several other labour stalwarts dropped out. The man does not know the meaning of the word Integrity, fat, lying, cheating cunt he has scammed himself through life. Hopefully the Magistrates in Peterlee will through the book at the twat and the Borough of South Tyneside will be shot of him. The good people of Hebburn who presented the 5,500 petition are sticking two fucking fingers up to you, they are indeed having the last laugh.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/13/will-steady-eddie-throw-in-the-towel/

On George Elsom and the Progressives ..

Aye how fuckin niave can the progs be, the twats President or some fuckin thing, going round with George ‘red rum’Elsom like his arse lacky.
The Bastards going to fall from a great height right into a bucket of shite.

https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/twat-of-the-year/

On Iain Malcom ..

fkin faggotttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/19/iain-taps-his-best-mate-up/

THIS FELLA IS GOING DOWN THE SAME ROAD AS HIS EX LEADER WAGGOT, KEEP ON SPINNING SHIT, AND YOU WILL END UP ON THE SAME SCRAPHEAP AS HIM BONNY LAD.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/07/500-jobs-or-a-pie-in-the-sky/

Mr Monkey will be posting more comments from eurocar over the coming days.

06
Jun
09

whose council leader iain malcolm impersonating?

Council leader Iain Malcolm now seems to be distancing himself from the comments he made on Mr Monkey’s Blog after the council’s week long visit to Epinay in France was exposed on this blog. CLICK HERE.

Mr Monkey also revealed that councillor Malcolm used a pseudonym in order to hide his real identity or to deliberately discredit the person whose identity he had stolen. Both comments were posted under the name J Adamson and were from this e-mail address eurocar@hotmail.com

Now Mr Monkey reckons there is a 3rd possibility - councillor Iain Malcolm wrote the comments on someone else’s behalf who then posted them on this site using his or her own identity. Whatever the circumstances this chimp is 100% certain that the comments were written by Iain Malcolm. CLICK HERE and HERE. and that this is’nt the first time Miss Piggy has posted comments on Mr Monkey’s Blog using other peoples names – more of this later. 

It seems Mr Monkey’s decision to reveal council leader Iain Malcolm was behind these comments and the decision to tell bloggers about his rouse of using eurocar@hotmail.com as his e-mail address caused panic in the South Tyneside Scroungers Club councillors delegation in Epinay and sent them scurrying for cover back under the stones they crawled out from.

Councillor Malcolm then came up with another rouse, this time he tried to bloggers that J Adamson was a council employee who now risked losing his or her job because of Mr Monkey’s revelations. Unfortunatley he couldn’t order his stooge, Papa John Szymanski at the Labour Gazetteer, aka Shields Gazette to publish the story – he can’t risk telling the public what we really gets up to at their expenses – so he decided to use the Fat Mackem Hobbit over at the Shire as his mouthpiece and the daft twat fell for it.

Within hours of Mr Monkey confirming that Iain Malcolm was the person responsible, the following comment appeared;

You deluded idiot, I AM NOT Iain Malcolm and I AM NOT a councillor just an employee of STC, now you’ve disclosed my email address and risked my job you stupid ignorant fucking twat!
Pull your head out of your arse and start thinking of a way to defend me at the investigatory interview.

I won’t be back leaving comments here, brainless arsehole.

.. and this is when the theory that J Adamson is a council employee falls on flat on it’s arse.

Although this latest comment comes from the same e-mail address and uses the same name, Mr Monkey is certain that Iain Malcolm did not write it - it’s not his style of writing,  which thanks to a tip off Mr Monkey now knows how to recognise.

This comment is clearly the work of a second individual on the French trip and Mr Monkey reckons he ‘s seen this style of writing on dozens of occasions since his blog first appeared.

Mr Monkey is going to spend the weekend going through all the archived comments to see if any pattern emerges and he’s also going to do some digging into who or what eurocar is and what link there is with South Tyneside Council – his findings will be posted next week.

In the meantime Mr Monkey can reveal that the eurocar e-mail address was first used by someone called Big Daddy on 1st November 2008 when he (the tone of this comment tells you he’s a man) left this comment

Get out ya dirty bastard we want to see some chicks, lasses with big tits in nurses uniforms.
No Bender Boys like Malcolm does. 




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