eurocar: a regular contributor to mr monkey’s blog

On Monday Mr Monkey said he would publish a list of all the comments on his site that used the eurocar@hotmail.com and eurocar@hotmail.co.uk CLICK HERE.

This followed revelations that council leader Iain Malcolm was behind at least two comments left on Mr Monkey’s Blog during the recent taxpayer funded councillors jolly to France and that he or one of his stooges – most likely councillor Steve Harrison – used the eurocar e-mail address to post the comments.

Mr Monkey also revealed that there seemed to be a link between eurocar and Iain Malcolm. Comments left on this site suggest that the link is councillor Steve Harrison – apparently he owns a company called eurocar and that this company recently won a lucartive contract to supply transport services for the elderly. 

Mr Monkey can now reveal that the eurocar e-mail address has been used around 90 times to post comments on this site (under various names) and they have nearly always come from the same IP address – until the French jolly.

The style, tone and terminology of these comments is indentical except for the two comments written by Iain Malcom whilst he was in France. Ironically the other 88 comments left by councillor Harrison demonstrates what he really thinks about his colleagies and Mr Monkey reckons they will be overjoyed at the prospect of having this eloquent and confused individual in their ranks.

Here are some of the comments that have appear to have been posted by Steve Harrison from the eurocar address – to help put them in context, Mr Monkey has also included a link to the original post:-

On George Elsom ..

Recon a lot of Councillors in South Tyneside wished he broke his fuckin neck.Heard a canny story about the time he shit his pants on the golf course when one of his mates threatend the Bastard, maybe Mr Monkey would like me to share it with his bloggers?
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/twat-of-the-year/

George ‘ive pissed me pants’ Elsom, is coming towards the end of his political life. He was bought very cheaplyoff Iain’miss piggy’Malcolm and a shit vice chair was all he had to show for it. His Missus Olive – had the embarrasment of one of the lowest ever votes in South Tyneside, what a sorry loser u are George. You have no hope of ever getting elected again, because the Indys are going to hammer your ward when its your turn to stand, Better still every other opposition party wants u gone including Labour. Ha ha ha bought for a poxy vice chair then sailed down the tyne like a peice of shit.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/twat-of-the-year/

On David Potts .. 

Apparantly his Dick dont work to well according to one Scrubber from the Cottage pub in Cleadon.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2009/01/24/the-prince-of-sleaze/

I thought Fat pigs flew not took the train?
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/29/review-2008-the-fat-controller-claims-2251-to-ride-the-train/

Do you want me to bring him in for questioning?
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/06/is-potts-a-habitual-liar/

On Eddie McAtominey..

It Was reported in the Malcolm fanzine ( Gazette ) last week that the residents of Hebburn have a 5,500 name petition against the Tescoville
development and PISSED-AS-A-DRUNKEN-CUNT McAtominey told them to basic’ly PISS OFF he was going to make the decision not them. Well i think the boots on the other foot now.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/13/will-steady-eddie-throw-in-the-towel/

Theres over 40K gannin in that hoose, paid for of course by the hard working taxpayers. Drunken bastard gets 7k basic 12k Police Athourity, 10k Cabinet
Fiddiling Nanc gets 7k Basic and 9+k Chair of Scrutiny. she should of scrutinized that fat tango’ed twat
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/11/what-does-steady-eddie-know-about-you-iain/

Aye this Fucka has got away with it for years, after the scandal when he was kicked out of the Labour party for fiddiling, I and several other labour stalwarts dropped out. The man does not know the meaning of the word Integrity, fat, lying, cheating cunt he has scammed himself through life. Hopefully the Magistrates in Peterlee will through the book at the twat and the Borough of South Tyneside will be shot of him. The good people of Hebburn who presented the 5,500 petition are sticking two fucking fingers up to you, they are indeed having the last laugh.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/13/will-steady-eddie-throw-in-the-towel/

On George Elsom and the Progressives ..

Aye how fuckin niave can the progs be, the twats President or some fuckin thing, going round with George ‘red rum’Elsom like his arse lacky.
The Bastards going to fall from a great height right into a bucket of shite.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/twat-of-the-year/

On Iain Malcom ..

fkin faggotttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/19/iain-taps-his-best-mate-up/

THIS FELLA IS GOING DOWN THE SAME ROAD AS HIS EX LEADER WAGGOT, KEEP ON SPINNING SHIT, AND YOU WILL END UP ON THE SAME SCRAPHEAP AS HIM BONNY LAD.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/07/500-jobs-or-a-pie-in-the-sky/

Mr Monkey will be posting more comments from eurocar over the coming days.

Labour councillors paid almost half a million pounds

Its Labour’s turn to face Mr Monkey’s how much do they cost the taxpayer test.

When bloggers look at the figures it’s easy to see why so many Labour stalwarts have been around for so long. No wonder they squeal like pigs on the way to the slaughter house when they face the prospect of being dragged away from the trough.

Mr Monkey also reckons that this is why their lives are decimated when the electorate kick them out and why so many of them try and grab someone else’s seat on the council. This is the only way they can get their snouts back in the trough – there’s never been any honour amongst thieves especially when it comes to money.

Here are some of the highlights from The Labour Greed List,

• Coun Iain Malcolm made the highest claim at £32,435 (£623.75 a week)

• Coun Alan Kerr claimed at £23,319 (£448.44 a week)

• Coun Ernest Gibson claimed a record £4,932.27 for travel and subsistence

• Coun Rob Dix treated himself to a new BMW when he was elected. This delivery driver receives an annual boost to his salary from the taxpayer of around £14,000.

• After replacing Paul Waggott as leader of the council, Coun Malcolm promptly put the boot in by not giving Coun Linda Waggott a place at his trough. She was the only Labour councillor not to receive a special responsibility allowance.

Mr Monkey was staggered to learn that almost half a million pounds of taxpayers money was paid to just 31 Labour councillors and for what? Most of them can’t string a sentence together and couldn’t care less about the people they represent, that is until it’s time for their re-election.

The cost of each Labour councillor to the taxpayer in 2008 – 09 was a staggering £15,029.83.

Name	Allowance	Travel	Subsistence	Total	Weekly Cost
Anglin, J	11,760	–	–	11,760	226.15
Bell, J	16,464	–	–	16,464	316.61
Boyack, P	13,833	691.25	152.33	14,676	282.23
Brady, W  E	16,464	–	–	16,464	316.61
Clare, M H	16,464	–	–	16,464	316.61
Dix, R	14,112	–	–	14,112	271.38
Dixon, T	15,352	1,566.80	315.62	17,234	331.43
Donaldson, A	8,168	–	129.63	8,297	159.55
Foreman, J	16,464	800.15	214.01	17,478	336.11
Gibson, E	16,186	3,431.90	1,500.37	21,118	406.12
Hanson, T	16,464	–	–	16,464	316.61
Kerr, A	22,408	733.47	177.63	23,319	448.44
Leask, E	14,112	–	–	14,112	271.38
Lewell, E L	11,760	–	–	11,760	226.15
Malcolm, E	16,464	1,253.10	605.91	18,323	352.36
Malcolm, I	31,817	239.00	379.82	32,435	623.75
Maxwell, N E	16,464	228.50	72.94	16,765	322.40
McAtominey, E	12,962	638.40	53.12	13,653	262.56
McCabe, J G	14,112	–	–	14,112	271.38
McMillan, A	11,481	–	–	11,481	220.78
Meeks, J	14,112	334.60	160.61	14,607	280.90
Perry, J	16,464	–	–	16,464	316.61
Piggot, T	11,760	–	–	11,760	226.15
Punchion, O	11,760	102.40	–	11,862	228.11
Scorer, B	14,112	211.20	111.75	14,434	277.57
Sewell, J	16,464	658.75	734.78	17,857	343.40
Spraggon, S	11,203	151.20	–	11,354	218.34
Stewart, A M	13,833	114.90	88.47	14,036	269.92
Strike, A	11,760	56.00	–	11,816	227.23
Waggott, L I	7,056	–	–	7,056	135.69
Walsh, A	8,486	372.00	15.42	8,873	170.63
TOTALS:	450,321*	10,892.37	4,712.41	465,925*	8,973.16

*These figures do not include pence

Potts Bats For Both Sides .. And Not Just Politically

'Love is in the air'

For months the King of Sleaze, councillor David Potts has been obsessed with unmasking the chimp behind Mr Monkey’s Blog.

Poor old Pudgy Face – little did he know that he came within a whisker of revealing the person behind the monkey on Tuesday night when he and his male ‘friend’ enjoyed an intimate meal at  Brunnelos No 5 restaurant, above the Wheatsheaf pub in Boldon.

Mr Monkey nearly choked on his starter when The King of Sleaze and his male companion entered the restaurant. They had a couple of pre-dinner drinks before siting down for their meal. They left about an hour later but Mr Monkey couldn’t see whether they were holding hands or not.

It seems councillor Potts has alot more in common with council leader Iain Malcolm, aka Miss Piggy than this chimp first thought – they’re both fond of faggots.

is Miss Piggy about to be spit roasted?

'Spit roast'

Miss Piggy, aka council leader Iain Malcolm has been having a few nightmares recently wondering what Mr Monkey is up to, especially since bloggers gave this mischievous ape some useful pointers of where to dig when he applied comment moderation earlier in the week – and Mr Monkey has been busy ever since.

Apparently Miss Piggy doesn’t just have an odd skeleton in his closet, he’s got a whole grave yard full and one voice he doesn’t want to hear is that of Mary Taylor – she’s got some pretty damning evidence about councillor Iain Malcolm’s hatred of the British democratic system.

Miss Piggy will be horrified to learn that this voice from his past has been whispering in Mr Monkey’s ear and that this chimp is set to reveal all, very soon.

No wonder Miss Piggy can’t sleep when there’s so many people wanting ‘spit roast’ their favourite piece of pork!

Bilbo Loves Ping Pong

'Mayor Baggins is considering using his mayor's allowance to buy himself a momento of his visit to the Flying Scotsman'

Last week Mr Monkey revealed how some South Tyneside councillors love nothing more than an away-day to London, especially if there’s a chance to pop in to the Flying Scotsman to watch some dirty tart strut her stuff; all for a bit of loose change, CLICK HERE 

Mr Monkey recalls a story he heard in the members lounge about soon to be mayor Bilbo Baggins, aka councillor John Anglin.

Apparently Bilbo had been in London for the day with a few of his cronies including Shrek, aka councillor Gibson and his Donkey, aka councillor Sewell when they decided to call in to their favourite watering hole for a quick drink fanny farm to see what tasty morsels were on the menu.

As soon as they entered this perverts paradise, they were approached by a rough looking Eastern European slapper, who even Shrek wouldn’t shag.

Luckily for Bilbo, this lass took a shine to him and kept shaking her empty pint glass at him – she was after a bit of loose change so she got get her kit off and perform her party trick. 

Bilbo quickly obliged and before he could say Gandalf, this dodgy slapper was on the stage dropping her draws and flashing her fanny for all to see.

Bilbo had never seen anything like it before and his glasses steamed up so quickly, Shrek had to provide him with demisting cloth – but the best was still to come.

Apparently Hobbits love ping pong and somebody had told the star of the show. No sooner had she finished exercising her fanny, she appeared with a box of ping pong balls.

This Queen of Sleaze crouched down, opened her legs and loaded her fanny with the full box of ping pong balls. She then turned towards Bilbo, gave him a quick wink and started to fire them in the direction of this ecstatic hobbit.

By now, Bilbo’s glasses were so steamed up he didn’t realise that he was being hit by ping pong balls and his suit was getting covered an unusual substance with a familiar odour.

It was only when Shrek and Donkey picked him up off the floor and helped him to the train for the journey back to Newcastle did he realise what he’d done.

This is when the guilt set in as he wondered how he’d explain the staining on his suit and the whiff of a kipper to Berylla Baggins, aka Chris Anglin.

Mr Monkey reckons the mayor’s secretary will have to keep an eye on the mayoral chains just in case Bilbo is tempted to swap the golden balls for the more familiar fishy type.

Tyne Twat – The Tale of A Whore

'For Sale - all offers accepted'

Ugly Betty started her working life as a pickpocket but quickly turned to prostitution when she realised it was easier to steal a man’s money when his trousers were off than when they were on. Sex was her way of getting closer to a man to pilfer his money, simply a means to an end. She tried her luck at the clubs but was always chucked out for stealing. So she focused on the river, where she had greater access to the seamen and thier goodies.

Once she got into their cabins, she could wreak havoc, stealing whatever she could get her hands on. From their rooms, she would take cigarettes, cash, shoes, watches, clothing – anything she could give away or sell. From the galley, she pilfered meat, cheese, bread, packets of noodles, fruit and alcohol. She preferred the short-stay ships because she could do her business and get away before anyone knew what was taken. By the time they realised they’d been robbed, they would already be out at sea. 

Ugly Betty admitted that, with her attitude, she wasn’t much of a lover. She didn’t give a damn about her clients’ sexual satisfaction; she didn’t even pretend to be interested. Sometimes she’d yawn, look at her watch or even try to take a nap while the man was busy trying to bang her. As he was about to shoot his load, she was only thinking about how she was going to reach down to his pants on the floor and empty his wallet. 

Ugly Betty always took full advantage of opportunities to steal when she was on the ships, but there were lots of other pleasures to enjoy too. Ultimately she didn’t go aboard to steal but to make money through sex and have a party with the sailors. She didn’t want to just get on and off; she wanted to hang out with the men and make herself at home. 

Arthur, a 68 year-old riverside veteran who was always willing to talk in depth to me, said that Ugly Betty used to move from ship to ship for days at a time, sometimes without even bothering to return home. She would live on the boats, party with the seamen at the clubs, then return with them to their cabins where they would sleep together. Usually she tried to pair up with one of the officers who could afford to keep her for days at a time. Sometimes she would even participate in the domestic upkeep of the ship to give the impression she cared, when all the time she was looking for yet more opportunities to rob its crew. 

Such long-term interactions inevitably led to closer relationships and on more than one occasion she fell in love with her client. Once she grew attached to an old Greek captain. He seemed to have felt something for her too, more akin to empathy than lust, and she responded to his selfless concern with total devotion. He promised to send for her to start a new life on a Greek Island but quickly changed his mind when his dick started to swell and he felt a burning sensation every time he went for a piss. 

… more to follow.

Good time girl

Mr Monkey has been working on a book about the seedier side of the town’s maritime heritage.

As the book is almost finished and the Ark Royal is in town, Mr Monkey thought now is as good a time as any to share some of his work with you.

Whore of The Tyne explores the hidden world of dockside prostitution in South Shields and focuses on local woman, Ugly Betty, who in the 1960s and 70s frequented the Mill Dam area of the town and was notorious for selling companionship and sex to foreign sailors.

The book shows how the dockside sex trade differs from other sectors of the sex insustry and examines the main character’s solicitation strategies. It also explores the cultural dimensions of dockside relations and reveals a mundane reality far removed from mainstream society.

Beside Ugly Betty, the book also explores the role of club owners, taxi drivers, bouncers, barmaids and some of the more shadier characters who inhabit Ugly Betty’s world. 

By delving deep in to the past and talking to some of the people involved, Mr Monkey allows readers to enter the dockside underworld and engage with the shadowy hustlers of this hidden realm.

Through the eyes of Ugly Betty, readers will be able to look at different elements of “the game,” as she relives her life as a dockside prostitute in the fantasy world she created for sailors from around the world.

Her story ends with her integration back into society and her gradual acceptance by the establishment who were instrumental in burying her seedy past – until now.

Ugly Betty – Watch Out John

'Ugly Betty, the patron saint of desperate sailors'

Mr Monkey has just spewed up his banana after seeing this picture of Ugly Betty, aka councillor Audrey McMillan.

But it’s nice to see that she’s made an effort for tonight’s Labour party bash at South Tyneside College. She’s dyed her hair flame red and Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether it’s to cover her grey hair, remind everyone she’s Labour through and through or if it’s something to do with catching the Defence Secretary’s eye whose portfolio includes the navy and everyone knows how fond councillor McMillan Ugly Betty is of all things nautical, especially sailors.

Mr Monkey reckons councillor Donaldson could tell a story or two about his days in Her Majesty’s constabulary and how they often had to drag her off the ships before they left port. Apparently she was that well known to them, they had her picture on the wall.

Either that or the Sergeant was trying to scare the night shift into staying awake.

Monkey Clip

As it’s nearly Christmas Mr Monkey thought it’s time he showed a little bit of Christmas spirit so he’s dedicating this week’s Monkey Clip to Council Leader Iain Malcolm – a man in denial.

CLICK HERE and enjoy.

The Top Club’s Queen of Sleaze

Who said Iain's gay?

Mr Monkey promised to tell you the tale about Andrea from The Top Club, one of Iain Malcolm’s former associates, so here it is.

Ed Malcolm, aka Frank Sidebottom, was overheard at the Labour Conference this year saying how shocked he was that Mr Monkey alleged that his brother Miss Piggy is gay. “Him! Gay!” he was heard shouting next to the Northumbrian Water stand – “How can they say he’s gay?”

Well this stupid granny shagger must be blind as well as daft – it might explain why he keeps poking old Olive Punchion.

Although Ed might have a fair point, after all brother Iain goes to great lengths to prove just how butch he is.

Back in the old days, Iain, The Queen of Sleaze, would slow right down in his old red Rover, wind down his window and shout ‘phwoarrrr’ any lass under the age of 50.

Sometimes, after all of his council meetings had finished, he’d head over to the Top Club where he’d prop up the bar making lewd gags to this poor lass called Andrea who worked behind the bar. He’s grab any opportunity he got to try and prove he was straight, he’d make bawdy jokes to Andrea about how he’d love to take her home and bang her till she couldn’t walk. That was until she called his bluff and said ‘OK take me home then, Iain’, the poor bastard ran a mile.

He might have been horny, but it’ll have been the bouncer he was interested in, not Andrea. To make matters worse it turned out that Andrea was related to Paul Waggott – the man he helped oust from Fellgate!

Mr Monkey has looked at part of Iain’s personal life (the attempt to arrange a marriage will be kept under wraps for now). Next up will be his political life, in particularly his love of leaks and all things postal.

Mr Monkey will reveal exactly how Paul Waggott’s infamous ‘lunatics’ e.mail reached the Shields Gazette back in January. Stay tuned to find out who leaked it, authorised it, printed it and posted it, and exactly who to.

He’ll be spitting FEATHERS when Mr Monkey delves deeper into his postbox fun .. did someone say FEATHERS?