This Monkey Clip is dedicated to councillor Potts and his latest lackey, Lalon Amin.
Given the Tory Boy’s sudden interest in Bengali weddings, Mr Monkey reckons councillor Potts will find this Monkey Clip very useful, especially when it comes to practising his new wedding dance routine.
'Councillor Potts cannot cope with his demons'
A year ago councillor David Potts was a rising star in the Conservative party after being selected as the Conservative Parliamentary candidate to stand against the Chancellor, Alistair Darling at the next general election.
Many Scottish Conservatives reckoned that he was destined for great things and even councillor David Potts believed that he would – at the very least become a minister in the new Conservative administration – that was until Mr Monkey revealed his antics here in South Tyneside to the world.
Within months of exposing the ‘real David Potts’ any ambitions he had to make it to Westminster were over. The Scottish Conservatives took the unusual step of effectively sacking him by removing him as their candidate and replacing him with Edinburgh councillor, Jason Rust who ironically had been pictured with David Potts on a number of occasions.
Councillor Potts found it difficult to come to terms with this rejection and his life quickly spiralled downwards.
Publicly he tried to convince the world that he had ‘resigned’ because of his father’s ill health and when it was pointed out to him by people who knew his father that this wasn’ttrue, he changed his story and claimed that the real reason he resigned was so that he could return to South Tyneside to fight the far right threat posed by the BNP.
He attended one meeting hosted by the leader of South Tyneside Council and to date no further meetings have been held.
Those close to councillor Potts feared for his safety and mental wellbeing as his behaviour became more erratic. They noticed that his drink problem had became more profound, he started to talk to imaginary beings and became increasing paranoid – he thought he was being followed by monkeys and started to see chimps everywhere.
This paranoia was coupled with depression, something he had suffered from as a child. He found it difficult to cope with and eventually retreated into his own world, he refused to answer his telephone, speak to anyone and then disappeared.
Some people thought he’d gone on holiday but Mr Monkey can now reveal that he returned to Scotland in an attempt to tackle his Edinburgh demons, but bottled it at the last minute and ended up in Glasgow.
He thought he was safe there where he could hide amongst the down and outs, tramps, alcoholics and drug addicts – that was until a jogger spotted him in the infamous Glasgow Green on the banks of the Clyde and called the police.
Apparently when the police arrived they found him unconscious on a park bench dressed in khaki shorts, a beige tshirt and a pith helmet. He was surrounded by a dozen toy monkeys, some of which had been mutilated and a fluffy chimp hanging from the tree above him in what appeared to have been a mock execution.
When the police roused him he refused to acknowledge their presence, pulled out a water pistol and started to ‘shoot’ the toy monkeys. He even tried to kiss and cuddle 2 blue monkeys which he kept referring to us Maggie and Smeagol.
At this point the police decided to ‘protect’ him and took him to the Gartnavel Royal Hospital where he was detained under section 4 of the Mental Health Act.
Mr Monkey can reveal that councillor Potts – who has a history of mental illness – is now hoping he can use his own experiences to change people’s perception of menal health and is campaigning for the law to be changed.
PART 2 WILL FOLLOW SHORTLY
After last week’s false alarm when the Chuckle Brothers, aka councillors Ed and Iain Malcolm thought they’d discovered Mr Monkey’s whereabouts CLICK HERE this chimp reckons they deserve a consolation prize.
So come on boys try your hand at this CLICK HERE – it’s the closest you’ll ever come to catching this ape.
Mr Monkey has noticed that the King of Sleaze, David Potts behaviour is becoming increasingly erratic and that his nose is slowly changing shape.
Several weeks ago this chimp asked a source close to Pudgy Face to listen carefully to the way he talks – he wanted to know how often he spoke through his nose. Mr Monkey also wanted to know how frequently he blows his nose and whether the rumours about him always having a runny nose were true.
For sometime Mr Monkey has been concerned about councillor Potts health, especially his drink problem. But now this chimp is wondering whether Tory Boy’s erratic behaviour can be explained by some other type of addiction.
The King of Sleaze tries to portray himself as a financial whiz kid and judging by his Twitter he fancies himself as a hard nose city boy.
Unfortunately he’s too lazy to get of his arse and move to where the real action or is he worried about being exposed as a fraud?
As well as his normal outlet for spouting his shite, he’s now using Twitter to to con us into believing that it all happens in the Red Lion Boldon.
He talks about flash restaurants, parties, quayside apartments, saunas and wild holidays. But strangely there’s no mention of fast cars, something that’s synonymous with succesful city traders.
Could this have something to do with the fact that he no longer drives after being caught using his dad’s car before he was old enough to get a licence?
Despite all his fancy talk, what Tory Boy doesn’t tell you is that being a ‘high flyer’ means you have to live at home with your mam .. Yes at 26, Pudgy Face is still a mammy’s boy!
Coming soon … the dangerous side effects of cocaine.
'Love is in the air'
For months the King of Sleaze, councillor David Potts has been obsessed with unmasking the chimp behind Mr Monkey’s Blog.
Poor old Pudgy Face – little did he know that he came within a whisker of revealing the person behind the monkey on Tuesday night when he and his male ‘friend’ enjoyed an intimate meal at Brunnelos No 5 restaurant, above the Wheatsheaf pub in Boldon.
Mr Monkey nearly choked on his starter when The King of Sleaze and his male companion entered the restaurant. They had a couple of pre-dinner drinks before siting down for their meal. They left about an hour later but Mr Monkey couldn’t see whether they were holding hands or not.
It seems councillor Potts has alot more in common with council leader Iain Malcolm, aka Miss Piggy than this chimp first thought – they’re both fond of faggots.
Mr Monkey spent most of last night watching films.
One of the films was called The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and it gave Mr Monkey a great idea. Why not start a League of Extraordinary Perverts, there are enough of them on the local political scene in South Tyneside.
Mr Monkey is busy researching possible members and will be posting on this subject again very soon.
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