councillor harrison takes the lead in the french connection

"which way to the free beer tent"

It didn’t take long for Indy councillor Steve Harrison to live up to his reputation of being a freeloader now that his shackles have been removed.

Councillor Harrsion left the Indy Alliance in May to become a ‘stand alone independent’ but within days he joined a new group called the association of misfits non aligned independents and progressives.

It now seems that his price for leaving the Indy Alliance was not the promise of a paid position but the chance to go on a few freebies at the taxpayers expense.

Since being elected by the people of Fellgate and Hedworth to oppose the Labour party he has regularly jumped into bed with them in exchange for a chance to live it up at the public’s expense – councillor Harrison’s loves nothing better than a freebie especially if it means he can get pissed without putting his hand in his pocket.

Mr Monkey has now learned that as well as his taxpayer funded trips to Belfast, London and Bournmouth councillor Harrison has gone continental. On Monday he joined a large delegation of scroungers on a week long trip to Epinay-ser-Seine on the outskirts of Paris, France – funded by the taxpayer.

It seems that even the publicity loving leader of the council thinks the trip might be a sensitive issue at a time when MP’s expenses have angered so many people. This might explain the absence of any coverage in the Labour party fanzine, aka the Shields Gazette and of course there’s the small matter of rubbing his Jarrow and Hebburn colleagues noses in it – no wonder he’s told those around him not to say anything about the trip.

Mr Monkey can’t wait to see how councillor Harrison is going to explain this one to the people that elected him to oppose a regime renowned for it’s abuse of public money. Whilst he’s at it he might want to explain why he’s missed so many council meetings due to business commitments yet he can drop everything at a moments notice to spend a week on the piss, paid for by the people of South Tyneside.

Labour councillors paid almost half a million pounds

Its Labour’s turn to face Mr Monkey’s how much do they cost the taxpayer test.

When bloggers look at the figures it’s easy to see why so many Labour stalwarts have been around for so long. No wonder they squeal like pigs on the way to the slaughter house when they face the prospect of being dragged away from the trough.

Mr Monkey also reckons that this is why their lives are decimated when the electorate kick them out and why so many of them try and grab someone else’s seat on the council. This is the only way they can get their snouts back in the trough – there’s never been any honour amongst thieves especially when it comes to money.

Here are some of the highlights from The Labour Greed List,

• Coun Iain Malcolm made the highest claim at £32,435 (£623.75 a week)

• Coun Alan Kerr claimed at £23,319 (£448.44 a week)

• Coun Ernest Gibson claimed a record £4,932.27 for travel and subsistence

• Coun Rob Dix treated himself to a new BMW when he was elected. This delivery driver receives an annual boost to his salary from the taxpayer of around £14,000.

• After replacing Paul Waggott as leader of the council, Coun Malcolm promptly put the boot in by not giving Coun Linda Waggott a place at his trough. She was the only Labour councillor not to receive a special responsibility allowance.

Mr Monkey was staggered to learn that almost half a million pounds of taxpayers money was paid to just 31 Labour councillors and for what? Most of them can’t string a sentence together and couldn’t care less about the people they represent, that is until it’s time for their re-election.

The cost of each Labour councillor to the taxpayer in 2008 – 09 was a staggering £15,029.83.

Name	Allowance	Travel	Subsistence	Total	Weekly Cost
Anglin, J	11,760	–	–	11,760	226.15
Bell, J	16,464	–	–	16,464	316.61
Boyack, P	13,833	691.25	152.33	14,676	282.23
Brady, W  E	16,464	–	–	16,464	316.61
Clare, M H	16,464	–	–	16,464	316.61
Dix, R	14,112	–	–	14,112	271.38
Dixon, T	15,352	1,566.80	315.62	17,234	331.43
Donaldson, A	8,168	–	129.63	8,297	159.55
Foreman, J	16,464	800.15	214.01	17,478	336.11
Gibson, E	16,186	3,431.90	1,500.37	21,118	406.12
Hanson, T	16,464	–	–	16,464	316.61
Kerr, A	22,408	733.47	177.63	23,319	448.44
Leask, E	14,112	–	–	14,112	271.38
Lewell, E L	11,760	–	–	11,760	226.15
Malcolm, E	16,464	1,253.10	605.91	18,323	352.36
Malcolm, I	31,817	239.00	379.82	32,435	623.75
Maxwell, N E	16,464	228.50	72.94	16,765	322.40
McAtominey, E	12,962	638.40	53.12	13,653	262.56
McCabe, J G	14,112	–	–	14,112	271.38
McMillan, A	11,481	–	–	11,481	220.78
Meeks, J	14,112	334.60	160.61	14,607	280.90
Perry, J	16,464	–	–	16,464	316.61
Piggot, T	11,760	–	–	11,760	226.15
Punchion, O	11,760	102.40	–	11,862	228.11
Scorer, B	14,112	211.20	111.75	14,434	277.57
Sewell, J	16,464	658.75	734.78	17,857	343.40
Spraggon, S	11,203	151.20	–	11,354	218.34
Stewart, A M	13,833	114.90	88.47	14,036	269.92
Strike, A	11,760	56.00	–	11,816	227.23
Waggott, L I	7,056	–	–	7,056	135.69
Walsh, A	8,486	372.00	15.42	8,873	170.63
TOTALS:	450,321*	10,892.37	4,712.41	465,925*	8,973.16

*These figures do not include pence

Senior councillor quits lucrative cabinet position

'Did councillor Hanson really quit or was he forced out by the double dealing Iain Malcolm?'

Cracks are begining to appear in councillor Iain Malcolm’s new look administration which is set to be ratified at the Labour party’s annual gathering of the pigs round the trough meeting on Saturday May 9th before being confirmed by the full council on May 12th.

Rumours have been circulating for weeks about who’s been given what and Mr Monkey can now confirm that Miss Piggy, aka council leader Iain Malcolm has told all those in line for a goodie bag what they’ve got when he summoned them to his ivory tower last week.

But some people were far from happy at what they saw as a demotion and others felt that they were being moved sideways. Unfortunately for Miss Piggy, councillor Tom Hanson who represents the Bede ward took umbrage at being offered what in his opinion was a derogatory role within the administration and has now decided to quit his £10,000 a year position in the council’s decisionmaking cabinet to embarrass the council leader Iain Malcolm.

Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether councillor Emma Lewell is being used by Miss Piggy to keep former leader Paul Waggott from making  a return to the council chamber in 2010 and what better way to do it than by promoting Emma Lewell whose seat Paul Waggott is rumoured to be interested in. This would almost certainly anger some of the Jarrow group including Tom Hanson who hates Emma Lewell with a passion.

Seems that councillor Malcolm is determined to recreate the in fighting of the 80s and 90s that saw a split between Jarrow and South Shields Labour parties and the creation of the A and B teams .. I nearly forgot the C team!

twat of the week

"TWAT OF THE WEEK"

Mr Monkey should have known that finding a ‘Twat of The Week’ was always going to be difficult once this picture of David ‘Birdman’ MacLean appeared, CLICK HERE. 

What this chimp didn’t realise was that there would be so many twats worthy of the title.

Contenders for this coveted award are:

• Karen Allen – for thinking a Tory has a chance of getting elected in South Shields.
• John Szymanski – for handing over editorial control of the Shields Gazette to his paymaster Iain Malcolm.
• The King of Sleaze, David Potts – for presenting the Tories budget whilst pissed.
• ‘Big’ Ed Malcolm – for confirming what the world already knows; he’s a blithering, stuttering idiot with the intelligence of a slug.
• The Patron Slut of Sailors, aka Audrey McMillan – who this week realised there’s no local election until 2010.
• Wilma Waggott, aka Linda – for remembering she represets Boldon Colliery and not Bede.
• Victor ‘is anyone home’ Thompson – for remembering what day of the week full council is held on.
• Mr Miserable, aka Tom Defty – for confirming what everyone knew, he’s joined the Real Independents because George ‘Red Rum’ Elsom promised to pay for his Christmas cards.
• Vodka Lil, aka Eileen Leask – for listening to council leader Iain Malcolm who convinced her to resign as a governor of Bamburgh School.

and the winner is .. Big Ed Malcolm.

Shame On You – You’re A Disgrace

Today is Holocaust Memorial Day.

Yes January 27th is the day when people throughout the world remember the victims of the Nazi Holocaust and of more recent genocides in Cambodia, Darfur, Bosnia, Rwanda, Iraq and Palestine.

Numerous ceremonies to remember the victims of these atrocities have taken place up and down the country including here in South Tyneside where each year the Mayor hosts a ceremony on behalf of the people of the borough to make the occasion.

Apparently today’s guests included a select band of children, members of the public, church goers, a few council officers, a handful of councillors and the usual band of Labour party activists – Mr Monkey is still waiting for details of these scrounging bastards but can confirm that Pat Morris and Jack Brown were seen loitering around the buffet table.

The ceremony itself apparently included several readings, recitals, a prayer, and a few words (via letters) from our local MP’s. There was also a flower laying and candle lighting ceremony.

Mr Monkey can confirm that although today’s ceremony was well attended it seems most councillors, executive directors of the council and business leaders couldn’t be bothered to turn up.

According to a source inside the town hall only 11 councillors out of a possible 54 had the decency to make an appearance, these included: councillors Alex Donaldson, John Anglin, Peter Boyack, Jim Foreman, Ahmed Khan, Jane Branley, Joan Meeks, Tom Piggot, Jimmy Sewell, Ernest Gibson and Alan Kerr.

Notable absences included the Chuckle Brothers, aka Ian and Ed Malcolm, Michael Clare, Bill Brady (Lead Member for Equality and Diversity), Tracy Dixon, Joanne Bell, Audrey McMillan, Linda Waggott, Barry Scorer, John McCabe, Jim Perry and Tom Hanson.

The King of Sleaze Tory Boy David Potts and his two stooges Wood and Millburn, all three Liberal Democrats, the two representatives of the We’ve Finally Made Our Mind Up Party Real Independents councillors Lurch and Red Rum Haram and Elsom plus their new lackey Tom Defty were all conspicuous by their absence.

Apparently the Progressives didn’t bother turning up because they still think its 1986.

Mr Monkey reckons that each and every one of you lazy bastards who couldn’t be bothered to turn up should hang your heads in shame – in the words of the King of Sleaze .. “you’re a disgrace”.

Potts The Pussy Magnate

The King of Sleaze councillor David Potts who was recently dumped as a Conservative Parliamentary candidate seems to think of himself as a bit of a pussy magnate.

Mr Monkey witnessed Pudgy Face in action on Friday night when he was one of only two opposition councillors to attend Waggott’s Freedom of the Borough event in the town hall.

Tory Boy Potts downed as much booze as he could before his dick homed in on Labour’s Emma Lewell who represented his only chance of a shag.

The alternatives don’t bear thinking about. Howay would you shag councillors McMillan, Walsh, Puncheon, Meeks or Waggott if you knew where they’d been?

Comments Galore

A regular blogger wanted to tip Mr Monkey off about an incident involving disgraced Conservative Parliamentary candidate and local councillor Pudgy Face Potts. Mr Monkey activated the moderation option for 24 hours to allow the person to forward comments in private.

Mr Monkey can reveal that several other bloggers took advantage of the moderation to forward their comments about certain people and it makes interesting reading.

Beware councillors Malcolm, Malcolm, Potts, Boyack, Gibson, Kerr, Leask, Dix, Meeks, Khan, Hanson, Elsom, Waggott and Sewell, Mr Monkey will promises to reveal all.

Moderation has now been removed so any comments bloggers post are immediately visible.

Waggott Spurned by Malcolm

Speculation is rife as to why councillor Linda Waggott resigned from the board of South Tyneside Homes.

The most interesting one is that councillor Waggott had been trying to rekindle her affair with fellow councillor and board member, Ed Malcolm.

It seems ‘Big Ed’ is having none of it now that he’s declared his intention to seek Labour’s Parliamentary nomination for Houghton and Washington East.

Apparently councillor Malcolm reckons his chances of succeeding Fraser Kemp are good especially if he can con the selection panel with the “I used to be a miner line”. Unfortunately his inability to keep his dick in his pants over the year’s and his eagerness to fuck his married colleagues is likely to come back and bite him in the arse – Mr Monkey has very sharp teeth, just ask Tory Boy Potts?

Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether Linda’s resignation has anything to do with Ed Malcolm’s rejecting her advances or is there something more sinister afoot?

Waggott Quits

Mr Monkey has learned that councillor Linda Waggott, the political prostitute who is happy to represent any ward as long as she gets paid for it, has quit the board of South Tyneside Homes.

Senior officers and the inner core of Labour councillors were told yesterday that she had tendered her resigination with immediate effect, although no reasons were given.

Mr Monkey can only speculate as to the reason behind her sudden resignation, although on past form it’s likely to be a dispute over money or perhaps she’s been offered something more lucrative elsewhere.

Bloggers will remember that following the demise of her husband Paul, who was unceremoniously dumped by the people of Fellgate and Hedworth in May’s elections, Linda was angry that she had not been given a position of responsibility in Iain Malcolm’s regime was to get no extra money especially as the Waggott household’s income had suddenly fallen by around £45,000 a year with Paul losing his seat.

In an attempt to stop the old divisions between the A and B teams from resurfacing Iain Malcolm decided give the bitch a bone – no not shag her, he only does the same sex, by appointing her to the board of South Tyneside Homes, although Mr Shifty, councillor Tom Hanson was far from happy that he’d been asked to step down albeit with promises of greater things to come.

It now seems that poor old Linda was conned. Apparently you only get expenses for being on the South Tyneside Homes board and the days earning a few extra quid by handing out council houses in exchange for little brown envelopes have gone.

How she wishes she was still chair of housing, at least her bank manager does!

Maggot, Waggott and Faggot

Apparently the current Monkey Puzzle has been the talk of the members lounge with councillors desperate to learn the real identities of Councillors Maggot, Waggott and Faggot. Well Mr Monkey can reveal all.

Maggot – this title was given to Councillor Linda Waggott as she has a liking for other peoples flesh.

Waggott – everyone must have got this one! If you haven’t where the hell have you been?

Faggot – most of you thought this was Councillor Iain Malcolm, unfortunately you’re way off the the mark. This honorary title goes to former Labour Councillor and now Member of Parliament for Jarrow, Stephen Hepburn.

What most of you won’t realise is that the phrase Maggot, Waggott and Faggot was coined by the current Leader of the Council, Iain Malcolm shortly after his lover’s tiff with Stephen Hepburn and his fallout with the Waggotts.